Sunday, January 22, 2006
simple pleasures
i have had a thing for playing goo goo dolls' songs for the past 2 days. currently it's "big machine". love john reznick.
anyway today it was rainy and fucking cold.
got up - reluctantly - at 10am. god i love saturday mornings. some of them at least. dreaming of the person you're with; of things happening tt had never happened before; worrying tt you're falling further than you'd have expected; admitting to things you'd rather not have admitted to... but sometimes it feels like it's right, y'know?
fuck. but it was raining again. raining and cold. even with the down jacket, the walk out was an exercise in self-control.
today would be fun though. i was supposed to meet ben, diana, and ben's korean friend who would drive us to stanley park. i'd never been to stanley park before, so i finally had a chance to do so. :) and finally get a chance to tell all those incredulous individuals tt YES, i *have* been to stanley park.
we drove down broadway thru to burrard, and we took the motor vehicle tour of the park - 10 minutes as opposed to 2 hours. stopped by prospect point and decided to stop by the starbucks-serving coffee bar for a pick-me-up - and in ben's case, breakfast.
well. we ended up spending 2 over hours at the coffee bar talking. and talking and talking and talking. about singapore, the legal system in singapore, the weather, the politics... stuff like tt. tt never fails to drag a talk cock session out to a serious 2-hour type 4-way debate. but once again, it was loads of fun. hmm. i guess this is the kind of thing tt you only enjoy if you're a law student or something. *shrug*
told ben tt i was interested in volunteering with legal aid or doing pro-bono work when i came back to singapore, regardless of whether i'd be a cop or a lawyer. he was fucking surprised. he said tt i was going to join the police, and police don't help people, they just see everyone as criminals and chuck them into jail.
obviously we had quite an argument abt this. i haven't managed to rebut his prejudice against the force, and he hasn't managed to convince me tt all police are evil power-hungry government bootlickers, but i think we have arrived at more of a truce than an impasse. although i expect tt we will be spending a lot more time arguing about this again, esp in mexico. sigh.
but one thing we did agree on, is tt the legal system in singapore doesn't do enough for singaporeans. in canada, legal aid is provided so long as you can't afford a lawyer. it's your right as a citizen of canada. in singapore, even with legal aid, you still need to foot a lot of your fees yourself, and legal fees are preposterously high. even we don't understand why the fuck lawyers have to earn so much? i mean, so what if i have a law degree and you don't? does it mean tt i'm 20 times smarter than you, tt 2 hours of my time is worth 20 x of 2 hours of yours? the value system in singapore of everything is fucked up. it encourages materialism, self-centredness, apathy and superficiality. legal defence is not a right in singapore. in which case, then wouldn't tt make the whole concept of justice and equality before the law a lie?
isn't it really all a matter of justice only serving those with deep pockets?
fuck. yes i am cynical. yes i am not happy with such areas. ben agrees with me on this, but the difference between us is tt *i* believe tt something can be done. tt i, or him, or whoever is able to rise into a position of power in the future, will be able to change the system or to influence it in a way tt will be better for everyone in general.
him however, doesn't believe tt anything can be done. tt it is just better to live one's own life within the system and fly under the radar. he thinks tt if i, or if anyone else gets into a position of power, i'll forget all my idealistic motivations and just assimilate and become a part of the system.
fuck. the thing is, i can't guarantee tt i will prove him wrong.
one of the things tt worry me constantly, is how much of myself i can retain? when the power comes in, when the duty comes in, when the need to preserve one's own job, to advance one's own career, becomes more pressing than one's principles?
what he says is pretty much the same thing as what my ex used to say to me. tt power and authority would change me. once you get into a position of power, everything changes. so called principles, niceness, humanity; it no longer matters. he's seen it happen with so many officers before me. and every guy i know can vouch for the officers in army who treat them like fuck simply because they have power over them. normal people, people whom would have been considered nice in any other social context, changed by power.
fuck.
but anyway after coffee and breakfast, we took the requisite stanley park photos (okay, ben took them for me, so he's not in them) just to prove tt i was here.
from the postcard photo...
to proof of me at said location...
to me and diana at said location... (this was funny. ben kept ordering more and more people into the photos)
to ben's korean friend (okay. i admit, i can't rem his name), me and diana at said location.
and after tt it was the highlight of the day - leaving stanley park for lunch at banana leaf!
the FIRST TIME i'd be eating singaporean food in vancouver!!!
OMG. eating singaporean food for the first time is a near-orgasmic experience. we ordered roti canai (prata, but fine, i'll call it canai here), hokkien mee, char kuay teow, singapore laksa and nasi lemak. they were so much more fucking expensive than in singapore, but the moment i had my first taste of authentic prata i missed home so much i was telling ben we should just cancel our trip plan to mexico and take the first plane back to singapore!
omg omg omg. i can't believe i miss singaporean food so much. please. no more pasta and burgers and fries. i want spicy food! chilli! fucking authentic chaqr kuay teow! laksa and curry mee... prata kosong and egg!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
oh. and we ordered teh peng also (fucking $3.50 though) coz we waaaanted tea with condensed milk... and and and pulot hitam also...
fuck. CAD $20 for singapore food. but have to lah. i will DIE without it.
and we spent almost another 2 hours expousing the virtues of singaporean food to each other and to ben's korean friend. as well as um, car prices, property prices, standard of living in singapore, customs etc etc etc...
yar. and after tt, they drove me and diana back to totem.
yay. love today . simple pleasures... but love it man. :)
now playing: hotel costes - cafe de flor
anyway today it was rainy and fucking cold.
got up - reluctantly - at 10am. god i love saturday mornings. some of them at least. dreaming of the person you're with; of things happening tt had never happened before; worrying tt you're falling further than you'd have expected; admitting to things you'd rather not have admitted to... but sometimes it feels like it's right, y'know?
fuck. but it was raining again. raining and cold. even with the down jacket, the walk out was an exercise in self-control.
today would be fun though. i was supposed to meet ben, diana, and ben's korean friend who would drive us to stanley park. i'd never been to stanley park before, so i finally had a chance to do so. :) and finally get a chance to tell all those incredulous individuals tt YES, i *have* been to stanley park.
we drove down broadway thru to burrard, and we took the motor vehicle tour of the park - 10 minutes as opposed to 2 hours. stopped by prospect point and decided to stop by the starbucks-serving coffee bar for a pick-me-up - and in ben's case, breakfast.
well. we ended up spending 2 over hours at the coffee bar talking. and talking and talking and talking. about singapore, the legal system in singapore, the weather, the politics... stuff like tt. tt never fails to drag a talk cock session out to a serious 2-hour type 4-way debate. but once again, it was loads of fun. hmm. i guess this is the kind of thing tt you only enjoy if you're a law student or something. *shrug*
told ben tt i was interested in volunteering with legal aid or doing pro-bono work when i came back to singapore, regardless of whether i'd be a cop or a lawyer. he was fucking surprised. he said tt i was going to join the police, and police don't help people, they just see everyone as criminals and chuck them into jail.
obviously we had quite an argument abt this. i haven't managed to rebut his prejudice against the force, and he hasn't managed to convince me tt all police are evil power-hungry government bootlickers, but i think we have arrived at more of a truce than an impasse. although i expect tt we will be spending a lot more time arguing about this again, esp in mexico. sigh.
but one thing we did agree on, is tt the legal system in singapore doesn't do enough for singaporeans. in canada, legal aid is provided so long as you can't afford a lawyer. it's your right as a citizen of canada. in singapore, even with legal aid, you still need to foot a lot of your fees yourself, and legal fees are preposterously high. even we don't understand why the fuck lawyers have to earn so much? i mean, so what if i have a law degree and you don't? does it mean tt i'm 20 times smarter than you, tt 2 hours of my time is worth 20 x of 2 hours of yours? the value system in singapore of everything is fucked up. it encourages materialism, self-centredness, apathy and superficiality. legal defence is not a right in singapore. in which case, then wouldn't tt make the whole concept of justice and equality before the law a lie?
isn't it really all a matter of justice only serving those with deep pockets?
fuck. yes i am cynical. yes i am not happy with such areas. ben agrees with me on this, but the difference between us is tt *i* believe tt something can be done. tt i, or him, or whoever is able to rise into a position of power in the future, will be able to change the system or to influence it in a way tt will be better for everyone in general.
him however, doesn't believe tt anything can be done. tt it is just better to live one's own life within the system and fly under the radar. he thinks tt if i, or if anyone else gets into a position of power, i'll forget all my idealistic motivations and just assimilate and become a part of the system.
fuck. the thing is, i can't guarantee tt i will prove him wrong.
one of the things tt worry me constantly, is how much of myself i can retain? when the power comes in, when the duty comes in, when the need to preserve one's own job, to advance one's own career, becomes more pressing than one's principles?
what he says is pretty much the same thing as what my ex used to say to me. tt power and authority would change me. once you get into a position of power, everything changes. so called principles, niceness, humanity; it no longer matters. he's seen it happen with so many officers before me. and every guy i know can vouch for the officers in army who treat them like fuck simply because they have power over them. normal people, people whom would have been considered nice in any other social context, changed by power.
fuck.
but anyway after coffee and breakfast, we took the requisite stanley park photos (okay, ben took them for me, so he's not in them) just to prove tt i was here.
from the postcard photo...
to proof of me at said location...
to me and diana at said location... (this was funny. ben kept ordering more and more people into the photos)
to ben's korean friend (okay. i admit, i can't rem his name), me and diana at said location.
and after tt it was the highlight of the day - leaving stanley park for lunch at banana leaf!
the FIRST TIME i'd be eating singaporean food in vancouver!!!
OMG. eating singaporean food for the first time is a near-orgasmic experience. we ordered roti canai (prata, but fine, i'll call it canai here), hokkien mee, char kuay teow, singapore laksa and nasi lemak. they were so much more fucking expensive than in singapore, but the moment i had my first taste of authentic prata i missed home so much i was telling ben we should just cancel our trip plan to mexico and take the first plane back to singapore!
omg omg omg. i can't believe i miss singaporean food so much. please. no more pasta and burgers and fries. i want spicy food! chilli! fucking authentic chaqr kuay teow! laksa and curry mee... prata kosong and egg!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
oh. and we ordered teh peng also (fucking $3.50 though) coz we waaaanted tea with condensed milk... and and and pulot hitam also...
fuck. CAD $20 for singapore food. but have to lah. i will DIE without it.
and we spent almost another 2 hours expousing the virtues of singaporean food to each other and to ben's korean friend. as well as um, car prices, property prices, standard of living in singapore, customs etc etc etc...
yar. and after tt, they drove me and diana back to totem.
yay. love today . simple pleasures... but love it man. :)
# posted by Kitana @ 1/22/2006 09:55:00 AM 
