absolutum dominium

it looks like it's going to rain again. today's my mom's birthday. i just bought her a chocolate cake from sweet secrets and a picard wallet tt's made of genuine leather and has an equally genuine price of $105.00 to go with it, to replace her old marketing wallet tt she lost. it was from switzerland. well, picard's from germany... at least they're both from the same continent. :)

on the downside, my day started out terribly. and i know tt i shouldn't be blogging my emotions on this entry, but to be honest i don't want to talk to you right you. i'm fucking pissed. but i guess you know tt already. and i'm fucking hurt too. so maybe there might have been a miscomm, altho i don't know how tt could have happened since i specifically said "next week" last week (which means 'next week is this week) and i typed out 'this fri' on my message and not next fri. and even if there was a miscomm for genuine reasons, fact remains tt i took a bus all the way to town to meet you and i sent you an sms at 10 in the morning to confirm. so maybe it's not your fault tt you weren't awake then. so maybe it's not your fault tt you turned off your phone.

so maybe it's not your fault tt you were still sleeping when i called your house phone because i couldn't get your handphone and i was wondering if you had been kidnapped or if something had happened to you.

but tt being said and done, it's incredibly nice to know tt all you can say is "sorry. i thought it was next week." or "oops. there was a miscomm". i think it's incredibly selfish and inconsiderate for you to take things so lightly. maybe if i hadn't left my house or rescheduled other appointments it wouldn't have been so bad. but the point remains tt i took effort to meet up, and your behaviour clearly shows to me tt you're not making the same kind of effort. so maybe you volunteered to come down to meet me, but it's damn obvious from the way you phrased the question "do you still want me to come down and meet you later?" tt you obviously want me to say "no" and spare you the trouble of coming down to meet me.

so i say no. but excuse me, but i am hurt. i'm being given the impression - and this is not some insinuation, but to me something as clear as daylight, tt my friendship doesn't mean very much to you. well, maybe it does mean something to you, but it definitely ranks below your own beauty sleep and your own convenience. so i should be telling you all this personally, but i didn't want to make a scene in orchard road because i was so mad i would have said a lot of things tt i would later have regretted. and right now yes you've probably guessed it, i don't wish to speak to you right now.

maybe you could say tt i take your friendship for granted too, which can justify your behaviour. maybe you're right, maybe i have taken your friendship for granted. but know tt i would never take something like an effort to travel all the way down to meet as lightly. you ask me if next week is still on. i can't give you an answer yet because i don't know if i should still meet you. after all who knows, you might just end up telling me tt you thought i meant the week after again. haha.

so tt said and done, i pretty much wasted my late morning travelling to town. decided to make some use of my time in town anyway by buying a ticket to star wars: the revenge of the sith. i guess the critics have got it right this time; this movie was actually not bad. makes me want to watch episodes iv, v and vi again. so maybe some of the flow wasn't very smooth; amidala has been reduced to a hua ping, and i find anakin's reasons for turning to the dark side, or the way he readily accepts darth sidious' propositions highly unconvincing. but at least the transitions were smooth, the action was good, the interesting vehicles (like general grevious' spinning wheel ride) were good eye-candy. and yes, the story is very dark. but it wraps up all the loose ends nicely and links episodes i and ii to the following 3 quite completely.

oh. and on the bus back home i saw this mother and son sitting on the first row of seats, and the son mumbled to his mom tt he was sleepy. she turned to him and whispered to him to sleep, the squeezed his hand and held it all throughout his sleep, even though it meant tt she would be in a relatively uncomfortable position. tt gave me this very warm and fuzzy feeling inside. it's just one of those things tt melts cynicism in your heart, i guess.

reminds me of the time i was at delifrance, and they were playing 'never forget' by take that before they disbanded. in fact they were playing their greatest hits cd, coz i heard 'back for good' and 'pray' as well. and even though take that was a boy band and i have made clear my stand on boy bands, 9 years after they've disbanded there's just something innately reassuring about listening to their songs again. it's one of those nostalgic moments harking back to the time when you were younger. and sometimes it makes me feel so old, even though i'm only 21. now i understand why my dad loves listening to oldies so much, because they remind him of his youth. i have a feeling tt i'm going to be tt way when i become his age.

anyway i think my parents are coming home soon. we shall be celebrating my mom's birthday at hua ting restaurant in orchard hotel. i guess tt's all i'll say for now.