absolutum dominium

i don't know why i feel obligated to do a national day post.

well. um. happy 40th birthday singapore.

ok. tt doesn't sound very enthusiastic. i suppose i really ought to feel more patriotic. so why is it tt i don't?

i'm sure i love this country. i do call it home. i live here. my family is here. my friends are here. i go to school here. i train here. here is all i pretty much know.

and yet i feel like i could be a nomad. national day feels like any other public holiday.

isn't it strange how new yorkers and even singaporean tourists who go to new york will proudly buy 'i heart new york' t-shirts and wear them all over the fucking place, but no one in their right mind is going to wear an 'i heart singapore' t-shirt and do the same.

why? on one hand, it's true tt our singapore t-shirts are all damn fucking orbit. cheena dragon and oldish design. but if it was made to look hip, we still prob wouldn't be caught dead professing our love for our country coz it's just ain't cool man, ya know?

i know some people are damn excited about the fireworks. a lot of people hang the flag proudly from their house. it's not a family tradition here. my parents equate the concept of singapore with the government and the government with the pap, and hell will freeze over before they profess tt the pap ain't that bad after all.

i actually feel bothered tt i don't feel patriotic. granted. i think the ndp song is whacked, but tt's just coz we're using the same old people and the same old thing year in year out and it just doesn't work tt way after 40 years. but i hear of people studying overseas who are becoming more nationalistic, and i'm like "HMM". what is it tt drives people to really be proud of this country? it's not to say tt i'm not proud or appreciative. i love the transport system, i love the cleanliness. i love the efficiency. i love the fact tt we don't have to worry about the day to day and focus on the intangibles.

but i feel like i'm not being drawn by a kind of charm or some unique quality tt makes this place special.

straits times came out with this spread about what we love about singapore. i realise i haven't been to most of those places. am i missing out? is it coz i'm not adventurous enough? we stick to the same old places all the same old time. we stagnate. we don't explore. and when you don't explore, how do you find new things to love about a place you've lived all your life?

i haven't watched an ndp parade in a few years. usually around tt time i'm out running. i foresee myself running again this year.

but sometimes it goes beyond parades or fireworks.

nonetheless, happy national day.

me? i'm gonna go pack my room now.

P.S. i've watched the video evidence from wendy's party. OMG. this is hilarious. OMG. we are such MORONS. i can't wait for the videos of vic's party.