absolutum dominium

first 2 lines off "perfect day" by collective soul.

think it's kinda getting into my head ala earwormism again. probably coz reality is fast becoming tt dreaded alarm clock to my dreamy beauty sleep.

went to church with the dad on sun. couldn't wake up and therefore ended up leaving my phone at home. well done, girl. well done. stay with them for a while after mass, then went to meet the boy for lunch at bugis. just for the hell of it, bought him this gigantic flat "run-over-by-a-car" type dog with a really big nose. he was completely horrified when he saw me walking around hugging the damn thing (coz it's really fucking big). even more horrified when i told him tt the damn thing was for him.

and yes, i got it partly coz i derive great satisfaction from watching my boy carry the damn thing all around trying to hide it from the sight of everyone else coz it's embarassing for a guy to be carrying a giant furry soft toy around, but failing miserably coz the thing is just too damn big.

in the end he convinced me to pop by his office so he could dump the dog. he calls it 'nosy'. its head now hangs over his computer monitor. i tell him it's so tt the dog can look after him when i'm gone and make sure he's not doing something questionable like surfing porn or something when he's supposed to be doing work. wahaha.

it's very cute. but i think its butt is going to get fried by the computer sooner or later.

he gave me his jacket in return. very nice. very comfy. but it's an official jacket and that's not my name. oh well.

we hitched a ride from one of the guys in the official car to plaza sing since the guy was headed in tt direction. i get a kick out of being ferried in the official car. it's even more fun than a merc or bm. well. i haven't tried getting a ride in a porche or a lambo (I WANT A RIDE IN A LAMBO!!!) yet tho... so maybe a merc or a bm is not good enough comparison. but i wouldn't mind a ride in an official subaru wrx impreza. helloooooooooo baby!

this is my 3rd or 4th warm chocolate cake at baker's inn in 1 week. i have no abs. i shall never get abs. i have not been running and my eating patterns are in line with my weight gain. nah bei. like this how????

anyway too much food = upset stomach. i think too much chocolate. stomach was churning even before i left. like a washing machine, only less vigourous. heh heh heh. took an mrt to queenstown to meet the girls... i was punctual!

but then apart from yunshan, jul and angie everyone else was late. including the boss who told us all to meet punctually at 4. thanks arh. and her excuse: "i knew everyone else was also going to be late."

...right.

so anyway we wait for almost 40 min for the rest (or about most of the rest) to come, then we make our way to the void deck near vic's house to go and rehearse the dance moves for this song tt we would be performing specially for her.

to the tune and the dance steps of tt incorrigible rui-en/taufik ndp song. the idea = melissa, wendy and geok wei.

anyway here are the distorted lyrics:

"At a time when vic appear
all the burping starts
vic ah vic ah vic
stop being so gross

Now standing in front of her
her teammates trau-ma-tised
a lousy rock wannabe
who tries to be ashlee

Let’s try to tahan vic
With all her poser stunts
out of all the fruits
she feels like sour plum

Let’s try to tahan vic
With all her farts n shit
wearing stupid beanie to act cool
solly ah solly got so cold anot"

wah lan eh. we watch tt goddamned instructional video at least 7 to 10 times in a fucking row to learn the dance moves. ok. after the 3rd time most of us got the hang of the moves. but still. it's not just an ear sore, it's an eye sore.

and all 14/15 of us were practising as 1 group while the residents walked by, stared at us with incredubility, and then shook their heads in disgust.

and we weren't even being overzealous patriots. i think they thought we were a bunch of si geena secondary school kids.

gave wendy a crash-course in the steps when she rushed in, flustered from 5 hours of tuition. the poor girl. somemore the night before she and a few of the other girls had been celebrating vic's wala wala birthday bash with a lot of drinks. apparently vic got damn wasted then too. the rest unanimously labelled wendy 'taufik' coz of the white cap.

made our way to vic's bbq and set down our stuff. then helped her set up the bbq, start the fire, and cook the food. a lot of meat. got chicken and beef kebabs, asparagus wrapped in bacon, chicken wings, hot dogs, and sambal stingray with chilli so hot it sent all of us rushing for ice and water and some people actually teared.

talked a lot of cock, including about the new juniors and how some of them might have more than just admiration for my juniors now the new seniors. and the new coach is called chee hong. tt's quite a sad name. but i guess chee wai is laggi worse. i think though, tt if your name is chee bai, your parents must really hate you.

vic kept us plied with beer - 3 kinds, carlsberg corona and hoegaarden. no guesses for which was the most popular. i think at one stage we actually considered pouring beer over the bbqing chicken wings for a drunken chicken effect.

we cut vic's cake close to 10. ice-cream cake! but then there was a cock-up. we needed to play the recording of the distorted song tt we'd done so tt we could dance to it. but then we couldn't burn the song to a disc to play in the player coz it was in wave not mp3 format, and jul's laptop battery was critical and dying! so with 17 min left of the laptop we had to rush down with the whole thing and hope tt we were in time.

the laptop died once less than halfway through our performance.

we had to do a second performance. luckily the battery was still at 10%. heng.

so we totally embarassed ourselves with the infamous 'trunk-twisting' and pre-rowing warm up moves and tt stupid chorus dance tt totally made vic laugh to bits, all while trying very miserably to coordinate our steps together.

obviously with little success lah.

but it's the effort tt counts right?

anyway i had to leave for home early. today when i had to return to school to return the cha'pion paddle to tan chun tat, first i met meifeng on the bus!!! talk about coincedence! and she told me tt she's going china for exchange and tt she needs to settle her study plan, and tt she's not doing taekwondo anymore, and we'd talked a bit about humanz and the teachers and whoever else i hadn't seen from there.

second... i received this call from wendy, and she asked me: "are you carrying a paddle?"

turns out she was on the same bus as me! what are the chances???

so anyway she walked me to src to return the paddle. then i asked her about how the party went after i left. well, turns out they opened and finished the whole bottle of tequila, with the lime and the salt. some people got drunk, almost everyone else got high, some fell asleep on the floor of the void deck, others had to tell their moms they couldn't go home and crash at her place! wahahaha.

and the best part? there is video taped evidence.

wendy was like: "like this cannot cannot." haha. her own birthday party, we got drunk. wala wala, they got drunk. vic's party. they got drunk again. first day of school come back with hangover some more. hilarious lah.

and next week still got geok's party. HMM...

anyway since i'm staying over then... if there's alcohol and if the parents aren't are around, i promise i'll join in the fun again. ;)

even if it means totally embarassing myself. again.

i love my teammates!!!

actually this morning i overslept badly. wanted to go gym. fuckanarthan. woke up at bloody close to twelve. by the time i returned the paddle, i was already late to meet the boy. ironically he'd also overslept. it's very very uncanny. everytime i oversleep, he oversleeps. 3rd time already.

met him at lido. it was a jungle of kids out there. sec school. jc. my god. i forgot tt on the eve of nat day every school would be having half day. forget the attack of the killer tomatoes. this felt like the attack of the killer sec school kids.

i hate crowds. i hate people, or at least seas of people. makes me feel as if breathing is difficult. makes me feel closed in. makes me want to be fucking aggressive.

didn't think we could get tickets. fortunately, 'the wedding crashers' was nc16, so we didn't have to fight with the sec school kids for tt. just the jc kids.

heard a few mixed reviews about the movie, from the very good to the very bad. the very good included comments about how this low-brow humour was actually quite funny and a welcome change from movies tt tend to take themselves too seriously; a kind of no-brainer type film tt you could just go in and watch and come out and not remember anything about coz it doesn't matter anyway. the bad reviews included stuff like how this movie was a waste of money coz it was stupid and pointless, it was cliched and it was just tasteless toilet humour.

well. we liked it. i guess you go in with the right mindset: expect stupid movie - and everything works out. sure, it's cliched, it's toilet humour, there's no real point to the movie and you know how it's gonna end... but it is funny lah. i laughed like hell, at least. certain scenes give a lot of funny ideas, like the scene when gloria cleary was jerking off vince vaughn's character at the dining table during the family dinner. tt was hilarious. actually, most of the scenes between her and him i found incredibly funny. esp how helpless he was to defend himself. talking about turning the tables. and i thought the girls were damn hot anyway. all the girls in the movie. my god where do they get their extras from???

haha and there was even this scene when christopher walken's character was talking to his daughter and he was telling her tt while the future was uncertain, one had to use the information at hand in the present to make his/her decisions regarding the future.

and somehow it's kinda appropriate in my context, coz to be honest i'm beginning to feel insecure. not about him, but about us. about myself. i don't know why i keep getting plagued by these fears about becoming too needy and clingy (which i swear i will shoot myself before i ever become anything like a clinging vine or a goddamn original girl), or about being too immature or selfish for him.

i've been troubled by these thoughts for a while, but last night through to today they've been surfacing, and i've been distracted. the worst thing is tt he's so fucking observant and sensitive to his surroundings, tt i can't even hide it from him. when i'm distracted or bothered when i'm with other people, i might still be able to hide it, or at least make it seem like not such a big deal, but with him, it's impossible. i can't lie to him because he'd just know. fuck. tt's the thing about being with someone who can read people too well. ARGH.

i remember how jane would tell me about expectations. how with our friends, we can be so chin chye. no expectations. late? cannot make it? last min cancel? don't meet up for a while? and it's ok coz they're your friends and you understand.

but it's different when it's your boy. somehow you need to see him, you need to meet him, you want him to call you. i tell myself countless of times tt the world does not revolve around him, nor does his revolve around me. i have my own life, my friends, my family, my own things to do. he has his work, he has his friends, he has his duties. rationally i recognise tt. but it's a struggle to get my emotions to accept the rational conclusion.

anyway we had dinner at whampoa market. they had damn good hokkien mee. i had satay bee hoon and we shared a chye dao kueh. then i bought some durian for my parents. we also took the wrong bus, which landed us up in toa payoh. seeing tt it was still early, we had a second meal of sorts at mac's, but the music they were playing (the npd song on repeat) drove him nuts, esp when i started echoing the chorus and doing a miniature version of the dance moves, so we walked around for a bit as the stores closed. then he saw me home again.

realise i won't be seeing him till sat coz he's got a few duties this week, and i've packed my own schedule.

incidentally, was flipping through the papers today and i came across this article in life about 'three being the best'. erm. 3 guys. a girl ought to have 3 guys in her life. 1 brother-type figure. 1 boyfriend. the last i can't rem... i think it was the closer meet-up talk-cock kind tt you trust... well... i realise i def have all 3 in my life now. my brother chris, my boy, and a few in the 3rd category. heh. :)

you're right. it is the best. add to tt my babes, my darling girls,... and i'm settled for life.

i love the life i have, and the people surrounding me.