SUCCESS

I've discussed this before. What success is. How I've felt so bitter, left out, failed, etc because I couldn't get that scholarship of U of Chicago or LSE. How I couldn't qualify for the SMS(Women's) scholarship. How I'm stuck in what I consider a backwater university with a fucked-up system with a fucked-up mindset in a fucked-up wider (govn) education admin.

But then like I've said, I've gotten over it. I'm not bitter anymore. It's not a sore subject, unless of course you lord it over me like "I'm an overseas scholar and I'm going to rise to PM of my sector in the civil service and you're just a measley National University of Stupidity grad and you're probably just going to spend the first 2 years after graduation hunting desperately for entry-level jobs in the market that are totally unrelated to your field of work! I rock. You don't.". In that case you would be the person I have a problem with. Fortunately you wouldn't be a friend of mine.

But seriously, is that what we define success as? 5 figure salary, 5-room waterfront condo in the city, beemer, rich good-looking husband, 3 kids and a dog? Gold-plated namecards and expensive business suits? I don't know. Is working in the civil service *really* 'making it'? Is studying in a foreign uni *really* making it? Is money really the cure-all and end-all of life?

Yes, so I say I'm broke. So I say I have a wishlist that I can't fulfil coz I'm broke. But it's all made up of 'wants', not 'needs'. I'm not going to die without an iPod. I've survived 19 years without one, I can survive the rest of my life without one. This is the same reasoning that I've applied to driving and cars. I've taken public transport all my life. Yes, so a car is more convenient. Yes, so it saves time and it's more confortable. But I'm obviously not gonig to *die* if I don't have one.

Honestly, I think life is just so much more than what society expects us to believe. For 2 years of my life, I was made to believe that a scholarship was the cure-all and end-all of life. The easy way out. You get free money, a chance to study overseas (which probably compounds the fact tt NUS is fucked-up) (and of course, get really drunk, party your life away, travel to places others like me can only dream of like Amsterdam and Stockholm and Milan and Paris, snag cute ang-moh bfs and have a ball of a time etc etc etc), a prestigious job, a steady income and the opportunity to rise through the ranks like cake with too much yeast.

Was I bitter? Hell yes. Was I disappointed? Hell yes. I always thought tt I was better than other people. I would never say academically better, because I'm not. I wouldn't say CCA-wise, because I probably am not. I suck at Maths, I can't play an instrument to save my life, I don't run fast enough to make it into the national squad etc, and I'm not the pious Catholic schoolgirl kind of guai (if I was or ever become tt way, someone PLEASE give me a good hard right on my face). But I thought I had some quality tt made me different and worth taking on. I did think I was a special commodity, of sorts.

And now, 2 years later, I don't think tt's the case anymore. I begin to wonder why I let myself be misled by society's dream. I don't know what my dream in life is right now. I'm not sure for certain if I'm set for a life in the police force. (Although I can say for certain tt I took the scholarship because I am genuinely interested in the career, and not for some cheapo reason like free money or job security. I'm too much of an idealist to compromise my values for something as dirty as pragmatism) Maybe I might just follow Johnny's path and maybe substitute a life in the force for a life in black-and-white, be a litigator or something. Maybe I might venture out of my safety zone, beyond law and security. Maybe I might set up my own business (doing what? I don't know yet). Maybe I might be coverted and become a travelling missionary. Maybe I might abscond with some money (from where?) and become a full-fledged world travelling adventurer (hell yeah).

I wouldn't know. But one thing's for sure, my dream has never been what society dreams. For all my tirades of material wants, I realise that they never really matter that much to me. Maybe that's why I don't get similarly impressed when I hear of a young entrepreneur striking it rich and buying a car. Maybe that's why I don't understand why people invest in the stock market now, so that they can retire by 30. I don't want to invest in the stock market. I don't want to make a fantastic killing and become a millionaire. I don't want to retire by 30 (God forbid. WHAT on earth am I going to do with the rest of my life?).

It doesn't reasonate. I want something more. Success to me is something more. I wish I could define it, but I can't. I can't tell anyone now what it means to me. I can't tell anyone now what my checklist is because to do so would only be to refer to the usual Beemer, 5-room condo and gold-plated name card criteria, which to me is shallow and too generic.

I envy you, Jane babe. As far as I'm concerned, you're the one working towards success. You're the one pursuing your lifelong dream and seeing it become a reality, to be sure. You're the one who's doing something completely different, something completely not done before, and you're being recognised for it. You're so much more than any of the people you think are better than you. You're gorgeous, hot, incredibly fit, incredibly smart, energetic, cheerful, you have a great personality, and you're conquering your dreams of mountains. If there's anyone who's just shown me that the adidas slogan of 'Impossible is Nothing' is true, it's you.

[edit:

Almost forgot. The first thing my father said to me when he saw me in spectacles:

"My daughter looks like a nerd."

Also, my back muscles are rock-solid. And aching like HELL. Argh... I need a massage. Dammit, why aren't my arms long enough?! Grr. Ooh. And my pecs (I think) are hard too. Aha! I've finally realised the effect of Inclined Press. Now if only I wasn't so flat also. *sigh* :( ]

Public - 3:18 PM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - edit it - email it

MY PROFILE TYPE

INFP:
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceptive

"I remember the first albatross I ever saw. ... At intervals, it arched forth its vast archangel wings, as if to embrace some holy ark. Wondrous flutterings and throbbings shook it. Though bodily unharmed, it uttered cries, as some king's ghost in super natural distress. Through its inexpressible, strange eyes, methought I peeped to secrets not below the heavens. As Abraham before the angels, I bowed myself..." --(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualitie s.

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--h er own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Rest you, my enemy,
Slain without fault,
Life smacks but tastelessly
Lacking your salt!
Stuck in a bog whence naught
May catapult me,
Come from the grave, long-sought,
Come and insult me!."
--(Steven Vincent Benet, Elegy for an Enemy)

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:

"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!
... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark."--(Melville, Moby Dick)

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

Functional Analysis

INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

Famous INFPs:

Homer
Virgil
Mary, mother of Jesus
St. John, the beloved disciple
St. Luke; physician, disciple, author
William Shakespeare, bard of Avon
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Evangeline)
A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
Helen Keller, deaf and blind author
Carl Rogers, reflective psychologist, counselor
Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers' Neighborhood)
Dick Clark (American Bandstand)
Donna Reed, actor (It's a Wonderful Life)
Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis
Neil Diamond, vocalist
Tom Brokaw, news anchor
James Herriot (All Creatures Great and Small)
Annie Dillard (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
James Taylor, vocalist
Julia Roberts, actor (Conspiracy Theory, Pretty Woman) Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap)
Terri Gross (PBS's "Fresh Air")
Amy Tan (author of The Joy-Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife)
John F. Kennedy, Jr.
Lisa Kudrow ("Phoebe" of Friends)
Fred Savage ("The Wonder Years")

Fictional INFPs:
Anne (Anne of Green Gables))
Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)
Deanna Troi (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Wesley Crusher (Star Trek - The Next Generation)
Doctor Julian Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
Bastian (The Neverending Story)
E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial
Doug Funny, Doug cartoons
Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons
Rocko, Rocko's Modern Life cartoons

Copyright © 1996-2003 by Joe Butt

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From Myer-Briggs:

You focus deeply on your values and devote your life to chasing ideals... you often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. You're creative and seek new ideas and possibilities. You quietly push for what's important to you, and rarely give up. You might be somewhat gentle or have a good sense of humor, you could be hard to get to know and overlooked by others...you like to make the world more in line with your vision of perfection.

If you're a teenager, you probably have a bit of a rebellious streak. You might argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you probably have a small close-knit group of friends...you can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining, since you see the world in a different and special way... that's why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!

Inner harmony is the most important thing to you. You're sensitive and loyal. You have a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You'd rather communicate your feelings in writing...

You do best in a flexible situation where the teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you...you like to interact with your peers, but not TOO much ...you have both creativity and flexibility, and you like that about yourself....you don't get bogged down by details...your job must be fun and it must be meaningful to you....you don't wanna feel conspicuous so you'll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight...

You can be a gentle and subtle leader...being indirect and inclusive of others...you don't confront people head-on, but rather work with 'em to get the job done....you lead with your values in mind and let these guide you...you don't like conflict, so you don't confront situations directly.. you'd rather wait for a situation to work itself out....

Leisure and kickin' back is really important to you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it...most of your leisure things are done alone, like reading, listening to music, and even BBSing....when you want to be sociable, you can be very charming and outgoing..

Love is a very deep commitment to you...it's not easily attained...you probably pick out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn't match up to your ideal as to what love should be like...first dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can be "just right." you might have a hard time sharing feelings about others...you tell so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner that you love 'em or whatever....

If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart, but probably don't tell many others about it....you have a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for...don't get so caught up in your dreams that you don't consider others' points-of-view...you might not adjust your vision to the facts of a situation...you may need a "reality check" once in a while... also, don't try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize... don't delay projects 'cause you're holding out for perfection...it's not gonna come...don't get overly critical because no one matches your perfect ideals... you could lash out and it could get ugly.

INFP: "I Never Find Perfection"

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The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

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INTUITIVE-ETHICAL INTRATIM:

INFPs mainly have slim figures, however well-built INFPs are not that uncommon. Their gait is usually graceful and full of poise as they like to project an image of self-worthiness. Their eyes vary from large to small, however if they are isolated a characteristic pattern emerges. Narrow eyes give the impression that the person is smiling whereas wider eyes convey a feeling of curiosity.

During conversation INFPs have a tendency to maintain eye contact and to touch their interlocutors hand. They often have a very noticeable shy grin that appears when they worried or excited, or when someone focuses other's attention on them.

INFPs have a very good understanding of harmony and know well how to successfully combine clothes and accessories, resulting in their characteristic, elegant appearance. Sometimes they may give the impression that they are somewhat foppish. This applies to both male and female. INFPs show interest in a varied range of the unusual and original. They are also inclined to small talk. It can sometimes prove difficult for others to hold INFPs attention during interaction. They may unexpectedly disrupt a conversation by commenting in such a way as to give the impression that they are not following the subject. This can confuse or puzzle others.

INFPs enjoy interesting or humorous anecdotes and stories. They often recall and share notable episodes from their own life experiences. In situations where they are required to give a answer they often delay the inevitable until the last moment even if they have reached a decision by evading and camouflaging their intent. INFPs are inclined to make empty promises, always finding excuses to justify their lack of responsibility. They like to make others aware of their lack or practicality. However, INFPs have a good instinct for commercial and business matters showing great flexibility. This quality coupled with their ability to choose reliable deputies helps them to maintain a firm grip on positions of power.

INFPs have the ability to positively console people who are upset or worried by helping them to look to the future with optimism. With strangers INFPs behave gallantly and tactfully, showing good manners and education. However among friends and family they can be very up front sometimes behaving frivolously. They enjoy baiting others in a playful manner in order to create an easy and tension-free atmosphere. At home INFPs can be very frivolous and capricious, showing great stubbornness in getting what they want, sometimes creating dramas and scenes. These emotional outbursts are usually short and disappear without consequences. Generally they have very flexible emotions which they control consciously.

INFPs are usually uneconomical in financial matters. They find it difficult to refuse their whimsical desires. This can often lead them into financial difficulties and can result in them having to borrow money if they do not have sufficient money reserves. They like an extravagant style of life which is why their demands often outweigh their resources. INFPs more than any other type are inclined to marry because of wealth instead of love. INFPs will often accumulate their complaints in order release them all in one go in an appropriate situation. In fact, people who show concern about INFPs health and well being and who listen to their problems are very much appreciated.

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CAREERS:

INFPs generally have the following traits:

• Strong value systems
• Warmly interested in people
• Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above their own
• Loyal and devoted to people and causes
• Future-oriented
• Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
• Creative and inspirational
• Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
• Sensitive and complex
• Dislike dealing with details and routine work
• Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
• Excellent written communication skills
• Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
• Value deep and authentic relationships
• Want to be seen and appreciated for who they are

The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It's worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an INFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the INFP:

• Writers
• Counselors / Social Workers
• Teachers / Professors
• Psychologists
• Psychiatrists
• Musicians
• Clergy / Religious Workers

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RELATIONSHIPS:

INFP Relationships

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFP Strengths

Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

• Warmly concerned and caring towards others
• Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
• Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
• Deep capacity for love and caring
• Driven to meet other's needs
• Strive for "win-win" situations
• Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
• Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
• Able to express themselves well
• Flexible and diverse

INFP Weaknesses

Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

• May tend to be shy and reserved
• Don't like to have their "space" invaded
• Extreme dislike of conflict
• Extreme dislike of criticism
• Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
• May react very emotionally to stressful situations
• Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
• Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
• Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
• Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
• Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

INFPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

INFPs feels tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedastal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedastal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mates satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. "TJ"s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of peceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?

INFPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sides", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.

INFPs as Friends

INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.

Private - 1:54 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

INANE WISHLIST:

1. an iPod (Mini. in pink)
2. Shades (the sunglasses sort. preferably aviator. adidas sounds good)
3. cK Eternity Moment

Happily awaiting my Gel Empires. :)
But am poor. Am really in need of moo-lah (i.e. money). However, am also too busy to work (exams), too unlucky to strike Toto, too proud to ask $ from parents, too fugly to snag a sugar daddy (and similarly to proud to get one), and do not think am skilful enough to rob a bank.

So oh well.

Besides tt, just something I want to address. The thing with confidence and expectations. Sometimes you want something so badly and you try your best to get it. You make that effort, you take that time, and you do all this bearing in mind the hope that what you want will materialise. And I guess there's usually the assumption, ceteris paribus, that effort is proportional to result.

But as with all things, we don't know all the circumstances. In the race, we haven't seen our competition in action yet. We know roughly what standard we are, but though we are confident must not be complacent. No matter how much effort we have put in, we must always expect the unexpected. As with things like exams and other aspects of life, sometimes even though we put in our best effort, given the circumstances the unexpected can happen. And we should always be prepared to accept that.

I've always found it difficult to accept failure, be it pain, rejection, betrayal, or just... well, all kinds of failure. It's hard when you haven't done well enough and you fail, but it's worse when you know you gave your best, and you're best wasn't good enough. I'm still learning to stop blaming myself and move on. I've managed to put a lot of my failures behind me and just push on, press ahead, keeping a larger, higher goal in sight.

So for whoever else is trying your best, and feeling that it's not good enough, take a lesson from me.

Public - 10:38 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

UNTITLED

I woke up this morning at 6am. To find out tt my right eye was re-infected (I think) coz it was oozing pus. I was... irritated. Grabbed my half-empty bottle of Optrex and took perverse gleeful delight in washing out my eye again and again and again till I finished the bottle.

Then I decided to grab cereal as my breakfast. Opened my newly-bought packet of Froot Loops, only to discover tt it was ant-infested coz the packaging was faulty and had been opened before. KNN. And the ants were crawling all over my food shelf now. Sqauashed a few dozen before I realised tt I was wasting precious time before training.

Stopped by the laundry room on my way out to take my clothes out of the washer and transfer then to the dryer. All tt done, I proceeded to insert my cash card into the system, only to find out tt the whole system was spoilt and stuck in constant 'Processing' mode. Probably because some stupid moron (insert other assorted curse words here) had tried to cheat the system of money (again) and had happily spoilt the whole damn thing (again). So, in a mad rush, I had to leave my wet clothes in the dryer - wet - till I came back from training.

Happily, I got to the bus-stop around 6.30am. A generally comfortable time. And waited for the bus. And waited. And waited. And waited. The fucking bus came at 6.50am. Go bus-driver! I was pissed. Bus-driver then proceeded to drive down fucking *empty* Pasir Panjang/Telok Blangah Road... as though he was stuck in a massive jam. I wanted to kill him. I envisioned myself taking a huge frying pan and beating him over the head with it.

Then came the ultimate. I happened to be sitting on the upper-deck of the bus, behind 2 men. One was sitting just in front of me, on the extreme left of the bus, the other was 3 seats in front, on the extreme right of the right side of the bus. AND THEN they decided to hold a conversation. In China Chinese (complete with super thick un-understandable accent). In *shouting* tones.

I was like, KNN you stupid China retards can't you actually speak in *normal* volumes? You don't have to shout. It's too early in the morning for me to be subjected to loud, highly irritating cackle. And if you both really have a hearing problem in the first place, maybe it's because I don't know... YOU'RE SITTING TOO FAR APART MAYBE?

If I wanted to whack the bus-driver over the head with the frying pan, I wanted to lay the Smackdown on the China retard in front on me, and then proceed to throw his similarly deaf companion through the bus window.

UGH. Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots.

So surprise surprise. I actually get to training on time. Yay. Go me. :) And training is good. In fact, I think training today is even better than training yesterday, IMHO. For me at least. Our last training. It wasn't tt xiong, IMHO, yet for some reason my back muscles ache like fuck, and I feel like I have the back of the Incredible Hulk. When we were doing pull-ups after rowing, I was doing tt inane 'body builder' pose just to test. OMG. I swear tt if we all took off our shirts we'd all have GG backs underneath. Scary thought.

I like rowing with Yirang and/or Wenya, even though I rarely ever say anything to either of them beyond 'do you want water?'. It's a pity tt unlike the pacers, people like us mid-packers get switched around so much tt it's difficult for us to find partners tt we can develop a kind of 'mo4 qi4' with, but oh well...

Celebrated Angie's birthday after training. Pandan cake. Someone pointed out coconut shavings... Okay, just my personal opnion. Yes, we are banned from drinking coconut milk. And it's not like any one of us is going to drink chendol or eat burbor chacha anytime soon. But if it's a small unintentional matter like bits of *coconut shavings* on a cake, what do you expect us to do? Throw the cake away? Take off the shavings one by one? Yes, we should respect discipline, but at the same time we should never lose sight of our objectives or the justification for the rules. It's not a black-and-white 'cannot eat means cannot eat'. It's 'don't eat because it affects fitness, and may lead to health problems like stomach upsets etc tt we don't want to have at such a crucial time'. So while we must respect the rules, seriously there's no need to get so anal about them. I mean, even Mona, Boon Chin and Vic know when to strictly enforce and when not to. I'm sorry. I get highly irritated when people take what I consider a small issue and make it seem like I've broken one of the Ten Commandments.

(digression: reminds me of tort law and the issue of strict liability. generally courts are not in favour of strict liability because it results in injustice. that is why there is such a thing as judges' discretion. coz even the law recognises that humans are generally not idiots. okay, most humans. err... some humans. okay, i'll qualify. because *judges* and people with common sense are not idiots.)

After packing up, was walking to Stadium with Mona. Just talking, coz she's stressed and tired, and it's something tt I see very often in her eyes. And I know where she's coming from because I remember a lot of things about her both before and after she became captain. And she has a point. She used to have this perpetually cheerful care-free easy smile on her face, and she laughed a lot, and it seemed like nothing could ever get her down. Oh, and I could always tell her when I couldn't wake up for training and was horribly late without getting scolded *heh* (fortunately now I'm never late anymore! Wahaha). The easy smiles, the laughter, and same person we know and love is still there, but there are sides to her tt I thought I would never see. Sometimes absent-minded, worryingly quiet, down, depressed, tired... I guess I've probably nagged you about it a million times yet I know I can never nag it enough.

You're a great captain, a great teammate and my best friend in the team. As a member of the team I've watched you (okay, except when I row blind with goggles at the 4-eyed water bug), and although you put *too* much pressure on yuorself to perform and excel I think that you're already doing a perfect job of what you do. You my dear, are a perfectionist, because for you probably nothing will be enough till it's perfect. But given the circumstances, the expectations, the pressure (and even the state of row-dom we were both in and the remarkable improvement that we have made), as far as I see it you've put in your best effort. Once you've put in your best there really is nothing else that you can do, and once you've put in your best there should be no room for worrying or regrets or self-depracation. These are negative emotions that contribute nothing to you but make you feel a lot worse and a lot less than you are and should feel.

So that is my (another) 2 cents' worth. Come on girl. Last training's over. Race is our last leg. And then you can decide what you want to do with the team after tt. After all... you're the captain *wink*.

Besides tt, we were talking about morale. The fine line between confidence and arrogance. Because it's true, that if you put yourself up too high, your fall is going to be that much greater. And I'd rather see (and be?) a gracious winner than an arrogant one anyday.

Anyway after bathtime we went to Bugis for lunch. It was raining so my brolly with the yellow unsmiling hot chick came out again (wahaha). We had Mos Burger. I happily saw 'milkshake' and thought 'Kelis' and ordered a strawberry. But they didn't have so I automatically changed to coffee, and then Jul (or Wenya) told me tt we were not supposed to drink coffee and I changed to to vanilla. I was happily guzzling down on it when Mona asked me what I'd ordered and to my reply, said: "Do you know tt there's ice-cream in milkshake?"

The first image that came to my mind involved my hanged body swinging in the wind under an old oak tree.

Besides tt, the teriyaki burger was nice. The company was nice. The talk about religion was nice (I'm getting very generic aren't I?). Boon Chin, Yirang's and Vic's experiences about being mistaken for guys and getting asked to leave the Ladies toilet was hilarious. Mona's thinking that a purple orange is a mangosteen was amusing, as was her other confession (that for both our sakes shall remain only within the team). *heh*

Took 51 back to hall. Fell asleep on the bus and dropped my bag on the floor. Post-training syndrome. After every training I *will* fall asleep on the bus. Always happens. Am now at home. Will go church and have dinner with parents after this.

Yay.

Public - 5:46 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

EVOLUTION OF THE FOUR-EYED WATER BUG

I'm watching Queen Latifah drive maniacally as I blog. There's something genuinely freaky in her laughter as she tails Gisele Bunchen's Beemer head-to-head-to-head.

General re-cap of day: met Jane babe for brekkie. Had good brekkie and even better chat. Will not divulge details but her dad came to fetch me back to hall. Wahaha. He's so nice too. And my mandarin sucks.

Took ze bus down to Kallang. Mona gave me a knife for my chocolate spread! Whoohoo! Thanks babe I love ya... That's so sweet. All I need now is bread. Heh heh heh.

Then I ran blind (as expected). And then... the four-eyed water bug made its maiden appearance. I tried not to wear the goggles, but my infection seemed to be coming back. My left eye was red. So no choice. Tried to keep it out of sight for as long as possible by putting it on only when we started our warm-up set, but I guess it doesn't matter coz pacing sets with 6 or 7 teams at our time trial area is pretty much as good has having the whole of Kallang see tt ridiculously extra goggle-wearing person.

I found this very funny just now actually. And the general training session IMHO, was good. I felt good rowing. I had a lot of fun. It was an experience to row into mud and rowing back out of it again. I hope tt I don't row in the mixed race; it's going to be a waste of energy. Apparently the most-cannot-make-it people are in Mixed. KNN.

But then somewhere along the lineI became damn sian. Very tired. Butt numb. Started raining very heavily, and my bag got wet, and I had to open my Piyo Piko umbrella. My eye was alternating between dry, wet and fucking sticky.

ARGH.

As of now, my *right* eye is red and icky. I'm damn irritated. Don't know what's wrong.

But before tt, I had dim sum dinner at Holland V. Good food, good company. I''m happier. Bought more cereal and Swiss Miss (fat free) Hot Chocolate with Marshmellows to make me happy on my down-days.

Am just feeling very full. Laundry's churning in the washer downstairs. One thing about staying in hall during the weekend when you have training is tt you have to wash all your wet and gross laundry yourself.

But anyway I'm feeling knocked out. Don't know why. Grouchy mood.

Before I go back to Taxi, a song I've been irritatin Angeline with during training.

BABY GOT BACK
- Sir Mixalot

Oh...My...God, Becky...

Look at her butt,

It is so big, she looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends.

Who understands those rap guys anyways.

They only talk to her because she looks like a total prositute, ok.

I mean, her butt.

It's just so big.

I cant believe its just so round, its like out there.

I mean, gross...Look!

...she's just so...BLAH



I like big butts and I cannot lie,

You other brothers can't deny,

That when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist and

A round thing in yo face, you get sprung.

I wanna pull up front cuz I notice that butt was stuffed.

deep in these jeans she's wearin',

I'm hooked and I cant stop starin'.

Oh baby, I wanna get wit ya,

And take yo' picture,

My home boys tried to warn me,

that butt u got,

is makin me so horney

oh, rumple smooth skin,

You say you wanna get in my benz,

Well use me, use me, cuz you ain't that average groupy.

I seen her dancin', the hell wit romancin',

She's sweat...wet...

Got it goin' like a turbo vet,

I'm tired of magazines,

Sayin' flat butts are the thing,

Get the average black man and ask him that,

She's gotta pack much back,

So fellas (YEAH!) fellas (YEAH!)

has your girlfriend got the butt (HELL YEAH!)

so shake it, ya

so shake it, ya, shake that healthy butt,

Baby got back

(L.A. face with a Oakland booty)

Baby got back

(L.A. face with a Oakland booty)

(L.A. face with a Oakland booty)



I like 'em round and big,

And when I'm throwin' a gig I just can't help myself,

I'm actin' like a animal, now here's my scandal,

I wanna get ya home, and uh, double up, uh-uh.

I ain't talkin' bout playboy, cause silicone parts are made for toys,

I want 'em real thick and juicy, so find that juicy double,

Mixalot's in trouble, beggin for a piece of that bubble.

So I'm lookin at a rock video,

Watchin these bimbos walkin' like hoes,

You can have them bimbos, I'll keep my women like Flo Jo.

A word to the thick soul sistas

I wanna get wit ya

I won't cuss or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when i say i wanna (animal noise)

Till the break-of-dawn, baby got it goin on,

Alot of pimps won't like this song,

Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it,

But I'd rather stay and play,

Cuz I'm long and I'm strong,

And I'm down to get the friction on,

So ladies (YEAH!) ladies, (YEAH!)

Do you wanna roll my mercedes? (YEAH!)

so turn around, stick it out,

Even white boys got to shout,

Baby got back

Baby got back



Yeah baby...

When it comes to females,

cosmo aint got nothing to do with my selection,

36-24-36

Ha Ha, only if she 5'3"



So your girlfriend drives a honda,

Playin' work out tapes by Fonda,

But Fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her Honda,

My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.

You can do side bends or sit ups,

But please don't lose that butt,

Some brothers wanna play that hard role,

And tell you that the butt ain't gold,

So they toss it,

And leave it,

And I pull up quick to retrieve it.

So cosmo says you're fat,

Well I ain't down wit that,

Cuz your waist is small and your curves are kickin',

And I'm thinkin 'bout stickin,

To the beanpole dames in the magazines,

You ain't it, Miss Thang,

Give me a sista, cant resist-a,

Red beans and rice didn't miss her,

Some knucklehead tried to diss,

Cuz his girls are on my list,

He had game but he chose to hit 'em,

and I pull up quick to get wit 'em,

So ladies if the butt is round,

And you wanna triple X-bo down,

Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT, and kick them nasty thoughts,

Baby got back

Baby got back



Little in the middle but she got much back,

Little in the middle but she got much back,

Little in the middle but she got much back,

Little in the middle but she got much back.

Public - 10:45 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

FUCKED, YET NOT

Not literally, idiots. (Sorry, playing Eminem's 'Just Lose It' on repeat mode makes your brain go totally whacked.)

"Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby baby"

Ooh. Wanna see my CLT exam question?

After much reading of Merry-fucking-man (he's gay. That explains the *merry* name), feeling guilty about not caring enough about Chinese or Hindu law (who care's if I'm Chinese and I should be proud of my roots... If I read another line of bloody dead Confucius and his whole concept of li and the social hierachy I swear I'll want to raise him from the dead just so I can kill him myself. And Jothi is the most inspiring lecturer EVER. That's why I refused to read Hindu law), sleeping late and trying desperately to cram every single aspect of every single legal tradition that I can into my incredibly thick skul...

My question, is the champion.

"If you were asked to set the exam question for this course and you were told that the question must cover the whole course as opposed to being limited to one specific tradition, what would the question be? Begin your answer by stating the precise question as it would appear on the exam, then explain why, given what you have learned and studied, you think your exam question would be a good exam question for this course."

Do you see that? Do you? DO YOU?! Of all the questions I expected on the different schools of thought, of the roles of judges, muftis and jurisconsults, the impact of colonialism, general themes of individual vs community, moral vs. rational etc etc etc.... And Gary Bell tells *us* to come up with a question.

I love(d) Gary Bell! He is(was?) my fave lecturer (it's a tie between him and Hallaq)! I voted him best teacher in the fac! And he turns around and gives us... this?

I swear, if there was a time I ever wanted to shoot him, this was it.

*goes crazy ala Eminem*

Anyway I had some serious retail therapy. I splurged $40 on a Deuter bag! Oh no! But my Billabong is giving way. There's a tear along the top, 1 side of the zip doesn't work, and it's so weathered now... *sigh* My dear Billabong, which holds so many pleasant memories (I cannot believe I loved you from the time I actually liked *Limp Bizkit* - wahaha.... now I think they're a lame-o band... oh dear... seems like such a long time ago - and the iron-on is still on your front. Or when Eminem first came out and I stuck on his keychain with my red 'Only Bitches carry red keyrings' keychain and everywhere I walked it made such a loud clanking noise! Or or or... !!!). But oh well. You're being phased out for my brand new *pink* Deuter bag (which I got at 40% off), so you'll be missed.

Except I'm a bit hesitant to use my new Deuter bag for training. It's so nice and clean and new and subjecting it to KALLANG is just a horror. Such a horror.

Ooh. And I bought chocolate spread coz I crave sweet and creamy chocolate.

EXCEPT. I have no bread, no biscuits, and no knife. I honestly have no idea what and how I plan to eat it. HMM.

And I'm suffering indigestion. UGH. Had beef and rice. Ugh. SUPER FULL. Ate too much today. Ate too much for breakfast, inbetween breakfast and lunch, snacked on tea, and had dinner too early. UGH.

Oh no, I need to clean my room. I haven't vacuumed it since last week! Horror of horrors. All my yucky hair needs to be sucked up. ARGH. But I'm so lazy. Hell, my loose CLT notes are sprawled all over my table, but I'm too lazy even to pack them and separate them from my other Property and Company notes, my school jacket, my bags, my other barang-barang... Yeah, you get the picture.

Ooh. I wanna buy Asics shoes. Stupid shop assistant happily points me to the Gel-Kayano - the most expensive shoe - at $239 like it solves all my problems. Bleah. Gotta check the online catalog myself.

I'm waiting for Taxi to download so I can watch it off my comp. Heh heh heh.

BTW, I will finally come out of the closet and admit my deep dark secret: I like Bhangra. I'm racist and xenophobic. But when Phuture plays Punjabi MC's 'Beware of the Boys' I go hysterical. And I love tt Peugeot (how do you spell it?) 'Husan' ad! And I enjoy watching Bhangra movies on Central! And I want to watch 'Bride and Prejudice'!

...

Uh oh. Is tt too much info?

:(

No wonder I'm Queen Latifah (who is in Taxi, along with hot hot hot Gisele Bunchen with the never-ending legs *JEALOUS!!!*).

In the meantime, the song that's been driving me crazy. IMHO, not as good as The Real Slim Shady or Without Me (my all time fave Eminem song), but nonetheless horribly catchy.

AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST LOSE IT -
Eminem

Intro:

(Eminem making sounds) ok..

Guess who's back

Back again

Shady's back

Tell a friend

Now everyone report to the dance floor

To the dance floor, to the dance floor

Now everyone report to the dance floor

Alright Stop...Pajama time



Verse 1:

Come here little kiddies,On my lap

Guess who's back with a brand new rap

And i don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation

Aah aah aah aah aah

no worries, pappa's got a brand new bag of toys

what else could i possibly do to make noise

I done touched on everything, but little boys

That's not a stab at Micheal

That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho

I go a little bit crazy sometimes

I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes

Good god, dip, do a little slide

Bend down, touch your toes and just glide

Up the center of the dance floor

Tee pee for my bunghole and it's cool if you let one go

Nobody's gonna know who'd hear it

Give a little poot poot, it's ok (Fart Sound)

Oops my cd just skipped

And everyone just heard you let one rip



Hook:

Now I'm gonna make you dance

Here's your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass,

Oops i mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby baby aah aah



Verse 2:

It's Friday and it's my day

Used to party all the way to sunday

Maybe till monday, i dunno what day

Everday's just a holiday

Crusin' on the freeway

Feelin' kinda breezy

Got the top down, let my hair blow

I dunno where i'm goin'

All I know is when i get there

Someones gonna touch my body

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk

But I'm feel just a little stressed out from work

Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair

Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out...there

What's your name girl

What's your sign

Dr Dre: Man, you must be out your mind

Dre aah aah

Dear God goes blind

I'm just trying to unwind



Hook:

Now I'm gonna make you dance

Here's your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass,

Oops i mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby baby aah aah



Verse 3:

It's Tuesday and I'm locked up

I'm in jail and i don't know what happend

They say I was running butt naked

Down the street screaming

Aah aah aah aah aah

Well I'm sorry, I don't remember

All I know is this much

I'm not guilty

They said save it

Boy we caught you on tape

Yelling at an old lady, touch my body

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down

it's real intense no one makes a sound

Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now

The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves

A step back to reality

Look it's B.Rabbit

You signed me up to battle

I'm a grown man

Duba duba duba duba duba duba

I don't have any lines to go right here so

Duba duba duba duba fellas what? fellas what?

Grab you left nut, make the right one jealous what?

Black girls

White girls

Skinny girls

Fat girls

Tall girls

Small girls

I'm calling all girls

Everyone report to the dance floor

It's your chance for a little romance or

Butt squeezin it's the season

Just go aah aah aah aah

so appeasing



Hook:

Now I'm gonna make you dance

Here's your chance

Yeah boy shake that ass,

Oops i mean girl girl girl girl

Girl you know you're my world

Alright now lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Just lose it

Aah aah aah aah aah

Go crazy

Aah aah aah aah aah

Oh baby

Aah aah

Oh baby baby aah aah



Outro:

Mmmmm touch my body

Mmmmm touch my body

Ooh boy just touch my body

I mean girl just touch my body

Public - 8:08 PM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - edit it - email it

I PROMISED JAMES I WOULDN'T BLOG TONIGHT BUT...

I'll be quick! I promise. I can't TAKE another moment of bloody John Henry Merryman who should just go change his name to Sandman so he can justify putting us ALL to sleep! *sticks tongue out*.

Okay for today I'll list down a few things tt should be of interest:

#1: Arafat's dead. And so it just gets worse. First Bush wins, then the fierce attacks on Falluja start (which IMHO will just worsen US-Iraqi ties), and now in the midst of negotiating the Israel-Palestine peace process, Arafat dies. *sigh*
(I think now would be a great time to start praying for the world).

#2: Interesting things witnessed:

11.40am. Was waiting for the bus to come, when this white dude jogged past me. In flip-flop slippers. (They went 'piak piak piak' on the pavement as he ran)

#3: Stupid things done:

11.20 am - 11.50 am: Waited 20 min for the non-existent bus, cursing NUS administration as the most retarded thing this side of the planet (and this is the best Singapore has to offer?!) for bloody inefficiency. I could have walked to Central Library AND back in 20 min. Then in frustration I checked the board. KNN. Who was the retarded one now?

#4: Cravings:

1. Frosted chocolate malt ice-cream from Swensen's.
(nothing else comes close.
...But it's exactly that. A craving. *sobs* Oh, only 11 more days to make it a reality.)

2. Dim sum from Crystal Jade.
(I waaaant.... egg tarts, char siew bao, chee cheong fun, char siew roll and ha gao.)

3. Lor-mee.
(*whines* I still want my garlicless lor mee)

#5: Wants to...
1. Watch Taxi!!! (soon?)
2. Eat all the food I want to.
3. Get to do my long runs again and push up my (horribly bad) fitness.
4. Go home to my parents.
5. Get the fucking exams over and done with! Screw yooooooooooooou!!!

#6: State of health:
1. eyes are small and behind spectacles, but redness is mainly gone.
2. throat is sore, but am guzzling water.
3. I'm not stressed enough I think.

#7: Immediately important events:
1. Release of take-home CLT paper at 9am tomorrow morning.
2. Training (with goggles).
3. Going home.

#8: Listening to:
Deathcab for Cutie's 'A Lack of Colour'. I love this band. I really do. The more songs I hear from them the more I fall in love with Ben Gibbard and memorable lines like "This is fact, not fiction. For the first time in years."

And I have a feeling my taste in music is contagious as well. :)

Public - 7:55 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

KIDNAPPING AT DEMPSEY ROAD!

"Tonight at approximately 9.45pm, a kidnapping occurred along the isolated stretch of Dempsey Road along Holland Road. Mr. Azmin (sorry, can't rem surname), who had recently turned 21 on 6 November, was apparently lured to the lonely place by a phonecall from one Eunice Lee (I think) and one Grace Ng, where he was apparently assaulted by 5 mysterious attackers who knocked him to the ground, bound him with rafia string and chucked him into his own car! They then proceeded to drive the car around the Dempsey Estate, taunting Mr. Azmin all the while doing it, before driving him to a conspirator's house, giving him a wedgie, and then attempting to drown him in a swimming pool!"

That, in a nutshell, sums up my evening.

I abandoned 8 crucial hours of CLT preparation because my freshie from OG2, June asked if I wanted to help in the co-ordinating of Azmin's 21st birthday celebrations. Yep, they're my freshmen, and as the strong, manly, chop-socky OGL I'm supposed to help put the icing on the cake (not literally lah). She'd had the whole thing planned since 3 months ago and had told me about a month or 2 ago, so how could I turn something like this down?

We got to Melissa's house a little after 6pm, and from then till 8-something were just planning out who would be doing what. There would be around 12 of us in total, and 8 would be personally involved in the 'thing' - the thing being his abduction. So my role would be that of one of the 5 'man-handlers'. I would bring him down personally with some chop-socky kung fu move (no, Taekwondo does not teach about pressure points so I cannot just jab 'some point in his neck' and knock him out), and then the rest would all jump on him. So we discussed, planned, practiced, and the plan came into motion around 9.45pm.

There we were, in our positions. This was on the isolated stretch of Dempsey Road with eerie flicking zebra crossing lights after St. George's Church (which was our original location, except it was way too lighted and we couldn't find a place to hide anywhere), behind the old Youth Flying Club. Derick, Zhiyou, Nick, June and myself - the man-handlers, would hide behind this big old tree by a road which Azmin would turn his car into before getting out. Eunice our decoy, would be in plain sight, as would Grace, our camera-woman. Zhiyou, Eunice's 'kidnapper', would be hiding behind a tree behind her... wearing black pantyhose over his head (the combination is laughable, trust me).

So there we were, waiting from him to drive down from the Eastside. He took 20 min from the time we called him from his home to speed down to Holland Road... and miss a turn. And ANOTHER 15 min to find his way back (apparently coz he knows we had something up our sleeve and wanted to irritate us a bit by making us wait).

But he was at the flicking zebra crossing lights by 9.45pm. We saw his blue lowlights from our hiding place as his car turned down the slope, beckoned by Eunice and Grace. Crouching, we scooted to Point 2, which was behind his car.

And then everything just happened WAY too fast. Eunice beckoned him down in 'Fright Night Revisited Follow My Voice' mode and HE TURNED BACK, and apparently saw 3 crouching people creeping towards him from behind. And then Junren jumped out of the bushes with panty hose grabbing Eunice, who screamed to high blue bloody heaven.

And we weren't even down the slope when Azmin, in a burst of rugby hooker energy, bamboozeled himself right at Junren and knocked him into the grass. They were wrestling by the time we actually got to Azmin, which pretty much saved me the trouble of having to hook his leg and elbow him in the upper back as originally planned. Eunice was in a heap on the ground nearby. Apparently Junren flung her away the moment Azmin unexpectedly propelled himself into Junren, because the poor boy was too shocked to do anything else.

So from wrestling Eunice's 'kidnapper', Azmin then found himself forcibly assaulted by 4 bodies who just fell onto him like flies and pressed him into the grass. Derick grabbed the rafia string and proceeded to tie his legs together while Nick and I held him down. But Derick didn't realise tt we needed to tie his arms together too and used the entire bit for his legs. So while I was holding his arms to his back and hissing for more rafia, he started struggling violently (and he's one HELL of a strong guy), almost enough to throw me off. Except June came up with her blindfold and shoved his face right into the grass. I think he ate quite a bit of grass tonight. She then proceeded to bind him.

In the end, in the light of the cock-up, we had to use Azmin's on tie (found in his car) to bind his hands together. We then had the sorry task of having to carry him to his own car - which was the getaway vehicle, irony of ironies. It's HELL stuffing him into the backseat coz 1) he's DAMN heavy 2) his car only has 2 doors and we have to squeeze him through the front seat into the backseat; and 3) his tied-up position + the fact tt he's intentionally making himself a dead weight isn't helping.

Finally, the guys managed to stuff him into the backseat. Then Derick took the driver's seat, Grace got in to take more embarassing photos of him, and me and June rounded up the back to 1) tease him (June's job) and 2) keep him in order (my job, apparently). We proceeded to drive around Dempsey Estate talking cock to him, taunting and teasing him, irritating him by blowing into his ear, etc etc etc.

Admittedly there were a few more cock-ups. Like how June accidentally revealed ALL our names while talking to him, like saying "Grace, get in the front." or "Derick, go to _______ place." or "Are you afraid that Izzy will beat you up?", or how we drove to Melissa's place and the stupid deaf security guard refused to actually listen to the name Grace was giving to him until she had to say really loudly "Melissa Liew", which every freaking person this side of Earth could here. I swear I've never seen such anal-retentive security guards. In times like these I'm glad I live in private housing, so that no one can tell me what I can or cannot do on my property (c.f. property law. easements,common areas and the Land Titles (Strata) Act. sorry, just had to do that).

So anyway we drive around a bit more INSIDE the estate coz Derick doesn't know where to go (thus getting a ticking-off from the security guard coz 'the residents will complain'. Complain WHAT?!), and Azmin reveals that the tie has slipped off and his arms are free and he can place them anywhere or do whatever he wants with them.

Then when the others return, we get Azmin out of the car, again with much difficulty. Derick drops him on the staircase leading down to the pool (which MUST hurt) while we're taking out his handphone and carkeys. We then place him face-down by the pool, cover his head with his t-shirt, tease him about his hairy back (he doesn't have 1 actually), give him a really big wedgie, then cut off his bindings and throw him into the pool.

Talk about fun. My pants were all wet coz I'd helped carry and throw him, but the experience was priceless!

Later, once the horribly-mistreated birthday boy had dried off (except for his wet-through $250 jeans), we sat around eating pizza and talking cock. Okay, pizza, chips, cordial and later tiramisu cake. I know, it's suicide for my throat - I'm feeling the effects now - but I really didn't have a choice coz I was really hungry. I hadn't had the chance to eat dinner and there really was nothing else. Oh well.

It was a lot of fun. Got to know a bit more of the Year 1s and who's got into O-Team next year. Cannot believe it, but Grace is the G2 of OG2 as well. Haha. I feel this irrational swell of pride when she happily told me that. I really don't think David and I did very much as OGLs (maybe David's experience shows tt once you become an OGL, you can get your freshies to support you at Singapore Idol. Wahaha), but my freshies are just so inspired. They have so many memories from orientation - even right from Law Camp and first impressions and little idiosyncracies that I thought might have been forgotten, and I don't know... I just feel really proud. I'm really glad to have inspired my freshies to become so close-knit, and so motivated to be OGLs (I think Xiaohui's the G2 of OG8, and a lot of them are ICs of various Orientation programmes too).

There were a lot of orientation memories going around. Understandable because I guess orientation is what really bonded my freshies together. Felt a little bad for the 2 guys who weren't from our OG, but at the same time quite happy that orientation had succeeded in what it was supposed to do. And even if you didn't come for Law Camp, or Rag n Flag, as long as you were involved in 1 part of orientation, you could still bond with the OG, like Eunice, because I still maintain that my OG has always been the most accepting, open, and nicest OG around. :)

But besides that, there were many periods of stoning and quiet. Someone remarked that "this was the most quiet birthday he'd ever been to". I guess it's completely understandable because 1) it's amidst the exams, so there's this pall hanging over all of us. 2) the juniors had just handed in their SLS papers today, and a lot of them hadn't slept at all, or much since 2 days ago. 3) the 2 seniors, me and Derick, were tired and bugged by our CLT exam and mugging, and were so distracted. Besides for me my throat hurt, so I was disinclined to talk. 4) We were all tired from planning and abducting Azmin. 5) It was really late at night.

We left around 1.10am.. All of us completely stoned and dead tired. My eyes were dry and hurting, so I could bet they were stark red. I was right. Coming back to hall, I bumped into Adrian in the lift and he asked if I had been drinking. And when I looked into the mirror in the lift I looked ugly enough to scare ghosts. My eyes were bloody red. Damn gross. Small and red. BLEAH.

But the thing is, I can't sleep. I promised I would finish Civil Law, and I have to finish all the Merryman readings before I sleep. So I'm going to tonight. I went for a run at 2am (the short 4km one) to make sure I am awake. Only thing is running with glasses gives me a big headache. When I run, my glasses jump, my vision jumps, and after a while this gives me a really bad headache. No GY I won't get black plastic specs just for this. I'd rather run blind. That's what I did for most of the run. Slow the pace and make my steps heavier, and keep a close lookout for both uneven ground and possible obstacles in front of me. But essentially running blind.

Just a note. My myopia is BAD. It is REALLY bad. And coz of the conjunctivitis my astigmatism seems more obvious. So seriously, altho I AM doing my best not to crash into things (and people) and making myself noticed, the thing is I cannot always see everyone. Some people may just blend into the trees and streetlamps to me. So I just hope that when I run like this in future, people who hear me won't fucking stupidly assume that I will give way. Coz if I'm blind, I may not. And if I crash into you, I'm not going to apologize because I don't mind pain and it's not my fucking fault. Therefore just a warning, if you yell something to me like "Watch where you're going!" or "You Blind arh?" (DUH. I AM blind), I will prob retort something along the lines of "anal bitch" or "fucking cheebye", depending on whether my mood is bad or badder (bad grammar I know. Running blind puts me in a bad mood).

Lastly, I've decided, I'm rowing with goggles on Sat and Sun. I'd rather sacrifice my beauty and dignity than get my eyes further contaminated and end up not rowing for race because of fucking eye infections and increased discharge of pus and blindness and what-fucking-not. So too bad teammies, you got a 4-eyed bug rowing behind you this Sat. And a blind runner too. Wahaha.

Anyway I've come so far. I'm not going to let my inflammed throat (it's not just sore, like dry irritating sore. It fucking hurts in a sharp piercing way, so it's definitely inflammed. Stupid Wellness Centre didn't even have the courtesy to look at my throat. Otherwise they would have realised that it's more serious that they think. FUCK. Stupid NUS) or my small, red, sore, infected eyes stop me from rowing (AND doing my exam). I swear if these peripheral bits really do stop me, I will kill myself. Okay, maybe not. Not for something like Law School. But something... drastic. Yeah, you get the picture,

Okay. End of long long long post. To Merryman I go.

Public - 3:59 AM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

NUS IS RANKED THE 18TH BEST UNIVERSITY IN THE WORLD

Overheard on the A1 bus, a conversation between 2 NUS staff members (researchers/lecturers maybe?).

Guy #1: Eh, when I read that NUS was the top 18th university in the world, I got a shock.
Guy #2: Yeah man. I didn't know the standard of tertiary education in the world is so bad.

Public - 5:24 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

BECAUSE I LIKE THIS ARTICLE

Newsflash: this morning my right eye had been infected. As of this evening the infection has spread to my left eye. I swear, the bacteria in conjunctivitis are about as contagious as Raccoon City's T-Virus. Just when you're not looking (hur hur) they come and hit you right between the eyes (hur hur), or IN the eyes more like.

KNN.

Spent an entire day and I'm still on a topic I started a week ago. ARGH where oh WHERE is Lady Efficiency when you need her?!?!

GRR.

Oh, main topic of essay. In between typing notes and trying to understand when and how concepts of stare decisis and the Courts of Equity came into the Common Law system, I was surfing my favourite elitist reading site, and I came across this article.

So it's mainly for my benefit. I can't read it off tt site coz the words are small and I'm having enough trouble seeing, thank you very much, so I'll just read it off my own blog.

So there. :)

GLOBALIZATION'S MISSING MIDDLE

Geoffrey Garrett

Foreign Affairs, 5 November 2004

The polarized debate over the effects of free trade and international capital flows has become a fixture of world politics. Boosters of globalization assert that it is a win-win proposition for the rich and the poor, developed and developing countries alike. President George W. Bush has said that "a world that trades in freedom ... grows in prosperity," reiterating a theme Bill Clinton championed in the 1990s. But critics see a small global elite lining its pockets at the expense of everyone else. John Kerry's decrying of outsourcing by "Benedict Arnold CEOs" is this year's version of Ross Perot's 1992 forecast that the North Atlantic Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) would make a "giant sucking sound" by drawing jobs out of the United States.

All this good-versus-evil rhetoric obscures one key fact: while globalization has benefited many, it has squeezed the middle class, both within societies and in the international system. In today's global markets, there are only two ways to get ahead. People and countries must be competitive in either the knowledge economy, which rewards skills and institutions that promote cutting-edge technological innovation, or the low-wage economy, which uses widely available technology to do routine tasks at the lowest possible cost. Those who cannot compete in either include not only the erstwhile industrial middle class in wealthy nations, but also most countries in the middle of the worldwide distribution of income, notably in Latin America and eastern and central Europe.

This tripartite account of globalization's results does not fit neatly into either of the paradigms that dominate the current debate. On the one hand, globalization's supporters-who maintain that all countries should gain from opening their economies-try to explain the poor performance of the middle-income countries by invoking factors other than globalization, such as the trauma of eastern Europe's rupture with its socialist past or endemic corruption and inefficiency in Latin America. On the other hand, critics of globalization, who refuse to accept that it has benefited anyone in the developing world save a tiny Westernized elite, fixate on various injustices (using terms such as "sweatshop labor") and discount its positive effects as the product of other processes, such as the modernization of agriculture in China. But simple evidence demonstrates that both views are inexact. In fact, middle-income countries have not done nearly as well under globalized markets as either richer or poorer countries, and the ones that have globalized the most have fared the worst.

The question is, how can they be helped? Displaced American manufacturing workers would probably rather get jobs at Microsoft or Genentech than at McDonald's or Wal-Mart. But for most of them this just is not a realistic option. On the global stage, countries such as Mexico and Poland would similarly like to compete with Japan and Germany in the U.S. market for high-value-added goods and services. But their work forces are not skilled enough and their economic institutions not sufficiently supportive of investment or innovation to take advantage of the knowledge workers they do have. As a result, the middle-income countries have been forced into unwinnable battles with China for market share in standardized manufacturing and, increasingly, with India for low-wage service-sector exports.

In the United States and the rest of the Western world, the challenge of helping the disaffected middle class "tech up" (rather than dumb down) is well understood. People must be given access to the education and training that can transform them into successful knowledge workers. Likewise, middle-income countries must be helped up the global skill chain. Meaningful educational reform is long overdue, but it is only the beginning. Middle-income countries need broad and deep institutional reforms in government, banking, and law to transform economies that stifle innovation into ones that foster it with strong property-rights regimes, effective financial systems, and good governance.

The stakes are high-and not only for politicians vying to control the electoral center in Western democracies. For more than a decade, citizens in middle-income countries have been told by international financial institutions and by their own governments that opening to the global economy will bring large and widely shared benefits. But all too often the troubling reality has been persistently high unemployment and stagnant incomes. In both eastern Europe and Latin America, the stark disjuncture between lofty rhetoric and grim reality has proved fertile ground for populist backlashes against global markets and their perceived American masters. The world's leaders must find ways to empower middle-income countries so that the fruits of globalization can be enjoyed by their people too.

ANOTHER COUNTRY

Princeton economist Paul Krugman lamented in The New York Times two years ago that "the middle-class America of my youth was another country." He was right. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, manufacturing employment, the quintessential American middle-class occupation, has fallen from one-fifth to one-tenth of total American jobs in just the last two decades. Meanwhile, employment in "professional and business services," which pay higher salaries to more skilled workers, has more than doubled, overtaking manufacturing in the process. At the same time, the number of low-paying jobs in "leisure and hospitality" industries has also essentially doubled and now rivals total manufacturing employment. Jobs on the American factory floor have thus been replaced, in more or less equal measure, by "junk" jobs such as flipping burgers and cleaning floors and by the new glamour professions of writing software and managing money. The result is that the distribution of income in the United States has been stretched at both the high and low ends, significantly increasing social inequality.

A similar process has been taking place at the global level. The world's wealthiest countries have grown richer in recent decades as a result of dramatic advances in technology, and the rate of economic advance has been even faster in the new manufacturing dynamos among the world's poorest countries. Squeezed between these two success stories, the countries in the middle have floundered.

One easy way to measure these changes is to track per capita national income worldwide according to the three major country groupings created by the World Bank. The top 25 percent of countries are labeled "high income," a category that comprises the nations in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, plus a few small Middle Eastern oil exporters and trading states such as Singapore. The bottom 30 percent are labeled "low income." This group includes more than half of the world's six billion people, chiefly in the countries of Asia and sub-Saharan Africa. The remaining 45 percent of countries-almost all of Latin America and the former Soviet bloc as well as the Asian tigers and much of the Middle East-are "middle income."

In 1980 (a useful ending date for the preglobalization period), the differences in per capita income among these three groups of countries were enormous: roughly 1,000 percent both between the low-and middle-income countries and between the middle-and high-income countries. Average GDP per capita was less than $300 in the low-income group, roughly $2,500 in the middle-income group, and more than $20,000 in the high-income group (in 1995 dollars at market exchange rates and adjusted for inflation). After two decades of integration of national economies into international markets, by 2000, per capita incomes in the countries categorized as high income in 1980 had increased by roughly 50 percent in real terms, due in no small part to innovation fueled by advances in biotech and information and communications technology.

At the other end of the spectrum, the world's poorest countries fared even better-indeed much better. During the 1980s and 1990s, their real per capita income increased by more than 160 percent. This growth miracle was spurred not by sales of agricultural products (the focus of ongoing debate over the future of the World Trade Organization), but by large-scale exports of standardized manufactured goods, ranging from steel to shoes to computer hardware. Exports of all goods and services increased in the low-income countries from less than 15 percent of GDP in 1980 to 28 percent in 2000. Over the same period, the share of manufacturing in total exports tripled, rising from 15 percent to more than 45 percent.

To be sure, profound inequalities remain in the cross-national distribution of income (even if one uses comparisons based on purchasing-power parity, which substantially increase estimates of per capita income in developing countries, rather than comparisons based on market exchange rates). But the big story of the past two decades is that the income ratio between the countries characterized as high and low income in 1980 has essentially been cut in half. Moreover, the growth led by manufacturing exports seems to have benefited wide cross-sections of the population in low-income countries. As journalists Nicholas Kristof and Cheryl WuDunn have pointed out, the factories that liberals denounce as sweatshops have nonetheless provided opportunities for people with limited skills to move from subsistence farming and penury into much-better-paying manufacturing jobs.

This "modernization through globalization" has undoubtedly had its deleterious consequences, including heightened inequalities between rural and urban populations and between hinterland and coastal regions, precipitating large-scale internal migrations. As the recent elections in India showed, such problems can lead to powerful political resistance from those left behind. Nonetheless, in India, China, and other countries in which the social pie has been rapidly expanding, these difficulties are easier to handle than in more stagnant economies.

Although proponents of globalization can point to record growth in low-income countries as proof of their wisdom, they should be troubled by the economic stagnation in middle-income countries. Supporters of NAFTA are wont to label the treaty a success for middle-income Mexico because it has stimulated trade and manufacturing across the border from the United States. And it is true that exports in the middle-income world increased from less than 20 percent of GDP in 1980 to more than 30 percent in 2000, while the share of manufacturing in total exports increased from under 30 percent to more than 50 percent. But despite the export growth, this group of nations has fallen even further behind the West, defying the age-old logic of "catch up," by which poorer countries reap the rewards of technology developed in richer nations. Real per capita income in the middle-income group grew by less than 20 percent during the 1980s and 1990s, less than half of the growth rate achieved in the high-income world and less than one-eighth of that in low-income countries. As a result, the ratio of per capita incomes of high-and middle-income countries actually increased by about 20 percent during the past two decades, while the ratio between high-and low-income countries dropped by 50 percent. These figures are all the more troubling because middle-income countries tend to have better-developed economic and political institutions and more educated labor forces-which development economists consider key drivers of growth-than their low-income counterparts.

Why has globalization been disappointing for countries in the middle? The answer seems to be that they have not found a niche in world markets. They have been unable to compete in high-value-added markets dominated by wealthy economies because their work forces are not sufficiently skilled and their legal and banking systems are not sophisticated enough. As a result, they have had little choice but to try to compete with China and other low-income economies in markets for standardized products made with widely available and relatively old technologies. But because of their higher wages, the middle-income nations are bound to lose the battle.

These economic woes have been compounded by the speed with which middle-income countries opened their financial markets to the outside world, particularly in the 1990s. In theory, developed-world capital can fuel development in lagging economies. But in reality, capital account liberalization in Latin America and eastern Europe, as well as in Asia, has brought instability, volatility, and, on more than one occasion, full-blown financial crisis. Now, even the International Monetary Fund (IMF) admits how misguided was its blanket support for liberalizing financial markets in developing countries with weak domestic financial institutions and fixed exchange rates (implemented in response to high inflation). The new orthodoxy thus favors sequencing: developing strong domestic financial markets and banking systems first and opening to international financial markets later. But this rethinking is of little comfort to countries recently ravaged by boom-and-bust cycles of hot money.

SEARCHING FOR EXPLANATIONS

The success of globalization in both high-and low-income countries can be readily explained by mainstream economics. Technological change and the international integration of markets have spurred growth in high-income nations, reversing the slowdown of the 1970s. Low-income countries have exploited their comparative advantage in cheap labor to gain large shares of the global marketplace.

The failure of middle-income countries to compete in global markets for either knowledge or low-wage products is decidedly less well understood, however. It flies in the face of many economists' core belief that all countries should gain from opening their markets to the outside world by doing what they do best, even if they do not do it as well as their competitors. As a result, supporters of "free trade for all" try to explain the poor performance of middle-income nations by pointing to causes other than their inability to find a productive niche in the global economy. These true believers argue that the integration of the middle tier into international markets is not at fault for these countries' recent dire economic record and that freer trade has ameliorated, not exacerbated, their problems.

One common argument brackets the experiences in the 1990s of the countries of the former Soviet bloc. For all the promise of their velvet revolutions, their transition from communist pasts to capitalist futures has been painful, and it would be a stretch to portray globalization as the principal culprit in this difficult birth of free-market democracy. Yet, even excluding ex-communist nations, per capita income in the remaining middle-tier countries increased by only 25 percent from 1980 to 2000, half the growth rate of the top tier and one-sixth that of the bottom tier. Blaming the problems of all middle-income countries on the collapse of the Soviet system is thus not persuasive.

Another attempt to resuscitate the classic case for free trade juxtaposes middle-income globalizers and nonglobalizers to argue that, whatever the problems of the middle-income group, the globalizers in it have fared better. In fact, the opposite is true. According to World Bank data, middle-income countries that cut tariffs less during the 1980s and 1990s grew more than those that opened up faster to globalization and cut tariffs more. A comparison of the experience of Latin America and eastern Asia, for example, casts serious doubt on a central shibboleth of development economics: that underperforming Latin American states are victims of their insularity and protectionism whereas overachieving eastern Asian states are the beneficiaries of their wholesale endorsement of global markets.

As careful observers such as Alice Amsden and Robert Wade pointed out long ago, it is misleading to characterize the first Asian tigers as having "open" economies. Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan all pursued the same strategy in their takeoff phases: nurture infant industries such as electronics and automobiles with preferential credit and protection from international competition and then do whatever possible to find export markets for these products. Since removing protectionist barriers to the home market is a critical expression of a state's move toward free trade, the eastern Asian countries cannot be held up as paragons of virtuous globalization. During the Cold War, because of security imperatives, the United States nonetheless allowed these countries unfettered access to U.S. markets. It was only in the mid-1980s, when Asian competition came to be seen as a threat to the U.S. economy, that Washington pushed hard for reciprocal access to eastern Asian markets.

In contrast, when, after decades of stifling protectionism, Latin American countries opened their economies with a vengeance in the 1980s and 1990s, they scored decidedly mixed results. They did exactly what the U.S. Treasury, the IMF, and the World Bank told them to do-open up, deregulate, privatize-arguably liberalizing more thoroughly than any other region in the developing world. (Average tariff rates in Latin America were cut in half from the mid-1980s to the late 1990s, compared with reductions of about 10 percent in other middle-income countries and 30 percent in low-income nations.) If the conventional diagnosis of Latin America's historical problems were correct, the continent would have reaped large rewards from liberalization or, at least, larger rewards than other middle-income countries that opened up less. But in fact, economic growth was even slower in Latin America than in the rest of the (already underperforming) middle-income world. Per capita incomes in Latin America increased by less than 10 percent from 1980 to 2000, compared with almost 30 percent for the remaining middle-income nations. Within the region itself, moreover, the countries that cut their tariffs the most grew the most slowly.

UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM

Proponents of openness tend to square their predictions with the experience of Latin American states by blaming domestic conditions such as widespread corruption, poor infrastructure, and underdeveloped economic institutions. Most Latin American countries could no doubt use better policies and better institutions. So too, of course, could low-income countries that suffer from political problems, such as civil wars and coups, that most Latin American countries have finally put behind them. If low-income countries have benefited from liberalization at least in part because it generated pressure for domestic reform, why, proponents of globalization might ask, have those in Latin America not similarly benefited?

Conventional economic analysis offers no clear answer to this question. One theory ventures that the true anomaly is not the relative underperformance of middle-income countries, but exceptional cases among low-income countries that have led analysts to find a spurious correlation between openness to trade and economic success. It suggests that a couple of gargantuan outliers, China and India, could skew the figures in favor of the low-income category.

With one-third of the world's population between them, China and India do loom large in any discussion of recent economic development. After three decades of Maoist rule, the Chinese government began economic liberalization in 1978, spurring more than 20 years of double-digit growth rates. India's liberalization came more than a decade later, but dropping long-standing quasi-socialist policies also brought the country spectacular results. In both cases, economic openness, particularly tariff reductions, was essential. From the mid-1980s to the late 1990s, China cut its average tariff rate in half, to 20 percent, and India cut its rates from around 90 percent to 30 percent. Thus, it is far from clear that these countries should be excluded from an analysis of the effects of globalization on the low-income world.

But even when the staggering achievements of China and India are discounted, it is still true that remaining low-income countries fared better in the 1980s and 1990s than did the middle-income world (with increases in per capita income of 55 percent against 20 percent). Savvy observers of the world economy might find these figures difficult to believe: after all, virtually all sub-Saharan African countries qualify as "low income," yet their recent record has been anything but miraculous. Per capita incomes in poor sub-Saharan Africa have indeed stagnated in recent decades, for reasons ranging from pestilence and disease to ethnic heterogeneity to dictatorships to mineral wealth. But even so, overall, African countries seem to have benefited from liberalization and integration into international markets.

Consider, again, the impact of tariffs. African economies today are still less open to international markets and less globally integrated than other low-income countries: tariffs in sub-Saharan Africa as a whole were no lower in the late 1990s than they had been in the mid-1980s. Thus, one reason some African states have not benefited from globalization is that, unlike China and India, they have not jumped into world markets with both feet. But where it has been implemented in Africa, freer trade has helped. Although their positive effects have been minimal so far, lower tariffs may eventually stimulate African exports in agriculture, raw materials, and even manufacturing. In highly competitive global manufactures markets, Africa's low-wage work force will continue to offer an advantage over middle-income nations.

FROM MISSING TO MODERNIZED

Counter to mainstream economic expectations, middle-income countries have struggled economically in the last two decades, and those that have opened their markets more have fared even worse. Yet a return to protectionism is unlikely to do any good. The pace and pervasiveness of technological change make it difficult, if not impossible, to put the globalization genie back in its bottle. But the formula of "more free-trade agreements"-bilaterally, regionally, and multilaterally-is unlikely to work, either.

The challenge for the middle-income world is to find ways to "tech up" and enter the global knowledge economy, so as to escape the trap of having to dumb down to compete in standardized manufacturing and, increasingly, standardized services. This will require educational reforms geared toward producing a large pool of skilled and creative labor, as well as good government, secure property rights, and strong financial systems to fight corruption and inefficiency. Such reforms would give entrepreneurs incentives to take advantage of newly minted knowledge workers, fostering innovation. But such a transformation will be expensive and difficult to execute, and the countries of Latin America and eastern Europe are not likely to be able to achieve it on their own. The transition to democracy has not itself proved the necessary catalyst. Instead, it has raised popular expectations that politicians find increasingly difficult to satisfy.

What can the West do to help? For much of eastern Europe, entry into the European Union, long and drawn out as the process of accession has been, may well be the answer. Poland, Hungary, and the other formerly communist countries that were admitted this year hope that membership will bring to them what it has brought to Greece, Portugal, and Spain over the past 20 years: access to western European markets, capital, and development assistance, as well as other, less tangible, but equally important advantages. New members must adopt the acquis communautaire of the EU: the full range of its laws, regulations, and institutions. Although it has often been derided as overly bureaucratic and sclerotic, over time, the acquis has aligned the domestic institutions of these nations with common European practice, bringing the EU's poorest members stability, predictability, and credibility-and an environment conducive to the emergence of the knowledge economy-far more quickly than they could otherwise have expected.

Although the EU's latest members from the east are starting from even further behind than were Greece, Portugal, and Spain, they can expect accession to help them build relatively quickly the foundations for successful competition in the knowledge economy. It goes without saying, however, that the helping hand of EU membership is not being held out to all postcommunist countries. Most conspicuously, Russia will likely remain on the outside looking in, even though it needs the shape-up that membership would bring more acutely than most of the countries that acceded this year.

Latin American nations have aggressively pursued closer economic relations with the EU, but membership is obviously not an option for them, and they have no analogous organization on the continent. NAFTA is more than a mere free trade agreement, but its rules and regulations are rudimentary compared with the EU's. The United States, moreover, has been reluctant to extend the treaty's reach, choosing not to integrate more deeply with its NAFTA partners or to extend the NAFTA model. Meanwhile, Latin American countries have been pushing in all directions for more free trade agreements: bilaterally, regionally, and with other parts of the world. Yet in rushing to do so on almost any terms, they risk reinforcing the damaging dynamic that trade liberalization has wrought on them and the rest of the middle-income world.

If unalloyed free-trade agreements alone cannot do the job and an EU-like organization is a pipe dream, what can be done for Latin America? The World Bank has been promoting smart development assistance, focusing on the creation of knowledge economies. So far, however, it has remained largely ineffective as an agent of change in the middle-income world. The United States recently launched the Middle East Partnership Initiative to foster educational, financial, and judicial reform in the middle-income countries of that region. Such efforts should be replicated in Latin America and all middle-income countries to counteract the economic stagnation and rising popular frustration that threaten these nations' openness and stability.

The problem today is that U.S. policymakers have more pressing things on their mind than Latin America's economic woes. In the early Cold War era, the Marshall Plan advanced U.S. foreign policy by creating democratic and capitalist bulwarks against communism in Europe. Bailing out Russia and Mexico also made sense in the years following the Cold War, when traditional security issues receded into the background. But since the September 11, 2001, attacks, achieving political goals through economic means has been given a much lower priority than the war on terrorism. And if a new Marshall Plan is created, it will focus on the Middle East.

The ultimate irony facing globalization's missing middle may be that the more the free trade project founders in Latin America, the greater will be the pressure on people in the region to migrate to the United States. Migration will, in turn, squeeze employment and wages for the American manufacturing middle class even more and force the U.S. government to think creatively about growing economic problems south of its border. After all, the flow of former East Germans into western Germany motivated Chancellor Helmut Kohl to invest massively in the formerly communist part of the newly unified country. Rapid increases in the number of eastern Europeans looking to live and work in western Europe also strengthened the case for the EU's eastern expansion. Much like East Germans did, eastern Europeans will benefit because western European investment will speed their transition to the knowledge economy. Perhaps, then, migration into the United States from Mexico and the rest of Latin America will ultimately help the continent move into the knowledge economy.

Before September 11, the disagreement over globalization was the principal fault line in world politics. Even today, ensuring that globalization's benefits reach all parts of the world would provide a bedrock upon which peace and prosperity in the twenty-first century can be built. Unfortunately, so far the middle-income nations have been left out. The United States and the EU must help Latin America and eastern Europe develop competitive knowledge economies. This project may seem banal compared with the war on terrorism, but over time, ignoring those pushed aside by globalization will have immense implications-economically and politically.

Geoffrey Garrett is Vice Provost of the International Institute and Director of the Ronald W. Burkle Center for International Relations at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Source:
Foreign Affairs

Rights:
Copyright 2002-2004 by the Council on Foreign Relations. Reprinted from the November/December 2004 issue of Foreign Affairs.

Public - 8:28 PM - add eprops - add comments - edit it - email it

UGLY FUGLY DUCKLING

*wails*

I have CONJUNCTIVITIS!!!

*wails some more*

Eye got infected from contact lens. Don't know why. Wore it too long? Saturation of Kallang water? My comeuppance for laughing at others with sore eyes for watching too much pOrN? Maybe watching too much of it myself? (?!?!) Wahaha. Last point kidding. No time to do work want to watch porn somemore. Think I seow is it?

...

Anyway on the upside, visited the University 'Health and Wellness Centre'. (That 'Wellness' part doesn't sit too well with me. I don't know. NUS and 'wellness' just DOESN'T go together IMHO. My consultation with jolly nice lady doctor + medication cost me only $1.05, and tt was for both the eye drops as well as my lozenges for my also inflammed throat. Damn I AM falling sick aren't I? *sigh*

On the downside, I have been told tt I cannot wear contacts for the next 2 weeks.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm going to be the ugly fugly duckling. You should see me now. In addition to my big chunky specs my eyes are 1 big 1 small, 1 red 1 white, 1 dry 1 teary (how gross is tt?) and I have a look of perpetual anguish on my face. Okay, it used to be anguish. Now it has dissipated into despair.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............

Damn. How am I going to run and row now?

Okay okay. I know the answer is "wearing specs". But I HATE running with specs coz they always slip off the bridge of my nose and get sweaty and icky and I have to wash them. And rowing with specs means getting water droplets all over the lenses and ALSO having to wash them.

PLUS PLUS PLUS... It's SO uncomfortable.

BAH.

Sucks.

*pout*

*throws fit*

Public - 10:27 AM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - edit it - email it