Sunday, April 24, 2005
looks aren't everything
it's 2.40am and my neighbour (my *house* not hall neighbour) is crooning an acoustic do-it-yourself version of 'with or without you'. i love the song. please do not butcher it. sigh.
for the past few days, the one constant thing i get told left and right is this: "looks aren't everything". and i know i am for one, guiltiest of judging on looks because i am an aesthetics kind of person. i love looking. i love eye-candy, girl or guy. but coz i'm straight, the guys get me more.
the thing is sometimes in the course of playing games and looking and looking, you get caught in your own trap. so he's fucking cute. so you like him coz of the arm-candy factor. and in doing so your own superficial self just takes precedence over the rational self. the self that tells you: no.
looks aren't everything.
so what if he's hot?
looks are superficial, skin-deep. like everything else, they fade in the sands of time. and what will be left?
just because someone is beautiful on the outside, doesn't necessarily denote inner beauty. and i have seen so much to know with certainty that his outer beauty is matched with an inner ugliness.
i already know the consequences. and now i see them for myself, but the lesson is not mine to have learnt.
the balance of power has never been with me. if the power is already with him, what would it be like? having a boyfriend who would never respect me. who might indulge me like a child, but laugh behind my back. to be cold and detached, and to shut me out whenever he feels like it and to leave me clinging on.
where would my pride be? where would my dignity go?
how would i be able to live with myself, if i let someone who has no respect for me walk all over me everyday of my life?
can i tolerate this, just because he's arm-candy?
the million-dollar question has answered itself.
now playing: hotel costes - cafe de flor
for the past few days, the one constant thing i get told left and right is this: "looks aren't everything". and i know i am for one, guiltiest of judging on looks because i am an aesthetics kind of person. i love looking. i love eye-candy, girl or guy. but coz i'm straight, the guys get me more.
the thing is sometimes in the course of playing games and looking and looking, you get caught in your own trap. so he's fucking cute. so you like him coz of the arm-candy factor. and in doing so your own superficial self just takes precedence over the rational self. the self that tells you: no.
looks aren't everything.
so what if he's hot?
looks are superficial, skin-deep. like everything else, they fade in the sands of time. and what will be left?
just because someone is beautiful on the outside, doesn't necessarily denote inner beauty. and i have seen so much to know with certainty that his outer beauty is matched with an inner ugliness.
i already know the consequences. and now i see them for myself, but the lesson is not mine to have learnt.
the balance of power has never been with me. if the power is already with him, what would it be like? having a boyfriend who would never respect me. who might indulge me like a child, but laugh behind my back. to be cold and detached, and to shut me out whenever he feels like it and to leave me clinging on.
where would my pride be? where would my dignity go?
how would i be able to live with myself, if i let someone who has no respect for me walk all over me everyday of my life?
can i tolerate this, just because he's arm-candy?
the million-dollar question has answered itself.
# posted by Kitana @ 4/24/2005 02:44:00 AM 
