Saturday, July 23, 2005
we laugh indoors
so much to do, so little time.
it seems i have a lot to prepare. my courses are all not confirmed. nus has some stupid rules on non-law courses, and i can't even confirm my timetable coz ubc is still tabling my modules for me. i have my accomodation; waiting for the confirmation of my study permit. got the plane tickets booked, all we need now is a service apartment for approx 2 weeks.
i need to get winter clothes. great sg sale ends in 2 days. i have tomorrow, essentially, to get my winter clothes or freeze to death in canada. i need new contact lens. my dad is bugging me to stock up on medication. and frankly right now i have no fucking idea what else i need. oh yar, bedlinen. right.
dammit i feel so unprepared.
got a public policy seminar to attend next week. 5 days of 9am to 6pm. i'm trying to keep up the gratitude and forget about the anger, but it's getting exceedingly difficult as precious time passes me by. sometimes i feel like asking "why God, why?" why bring me someone whom i would actually end up falling so hard for, at a time like this? isn't it bad enough tt we're so incompatible everyone thinks something is wrong somewhere, and if i brought him home to my parents my dad would get a heart attack, and he's so busy with work tt meeting up requires a copious amount of planning all the time?
why is it tt i have to leave so soon? why now? why this timing? i might have preferred not meeting him at all. at least i could leave without any strings attached. and worse yet, he's been on course all week. and next week when he's NOT on course *I* am on the fucking seminar. and then my parents are dragging me to malaysia for another 5 days.
fuck. i'm trying to be optimistic now but when it gets really bad, i don't know why things are happening this way. i know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it makes me wonder what kind of game He's playing with me sometimes.
on the upside, tomorrow we're celebrating hsien's belated birthday. hopefully i get to run some of my errands as well as meet him before tt. next week i foresee we won't be meeting up again. i feel very frustrated.
now playing: hotel costes - cafe de flor
it seems i have a lot to prepare. my courses are all not confirmed. nus has some stupid rules on non-law courses, and i can't even confirm my timetable coz ubc is still tabling my modules for me. i have my accomodation; waiting for the confirmation of my study permit. got the plane tickets booked, all we need now is a service apartment for approx 2 weeks.
i need to get winter clothes. great sg sale ends in 2 days. i have tomorrow, essentially, to get my winter clothes or freeze to death in canada. i need new contact lens. my dad is bugging me to stock up on medication. and frankly right now i have no fucking idea what else i need. oh yar, bedlinen. right.
dammit i feel so unprepared.
got a public policy seminar to attend next week. 5 days of 9am to 6pm. i'm trying to keep up the gratitude and forget about the anger, but it's getting exceedingly difficult as precious time passes me by. sometimes i feel like asking "why God, why?" why bring me someone whom i would actually end up falling so hard for, at a time like this? isn't it bad enough tt we're so incompatible everyone thinks something is wrong somewhere, and if i brought him home to my parents my dad would get a heart attack, and he's so busy with work tt meeting up requires a copious amount of planning all the time?
why is it tt i have to leave so soon? why now? why this timing? i might have preferred not meeting him at all. at least i could leave without any strings attached. and worse yet, he's been on course all week. and next week when he's NOT on course *I* am on the fucking seminar. and then my parents are dragging me to malaysia for another 5 days.
fuck. i'm trying to be optimistic now but when it gets really bad, i don't know why things are happening this way. i know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it makes me wonder what kind of game He's playing with me sometimes.
on the upside, tomorrow we're celebrating hsien's belated birthday. hopefully i get to run some of my errands as well as meet him before tt. next week i foresee we won't be meeting up again. i feel very frustrated.
# posted by Kitana @ 7/23/2005 01:21:00 AM 
