Tuesday, July 25, 2006
driven around.
today at the soup spoon:
"yeah, i love tako pachi man. they're my favourite."
"haha. me too. i just had some at tampines mall a couple of weeks ago. but the ones there aren't too good. they're kinda soggy and they put too much flour."
"oh. you live around tampines?"
"no, no. i just happened to be driving around. erm, correction. i just happened to be driven around. i get driven around a lot."
because of the friction with my mother last night - which, due to a miscommunication earlier in the day, resulted in him witnessing over the phone what a fit of 'reckless abandonment' was - this morning didn't start off too good. there was the perennial in-the-car lecture, which coupled with a major sinus problem from all day from the moment i woke up, didn't make for a good start. and then at the court i had 2 separate encounters with 2 rude people who thought they could throw their weight around just coz i didn't look like a lawyer or a police officer.
(not yet.)
today was my first murder trial. actually, it also marked my first-ever hearing. but as with all trials, the formalities is the most boring. the morning started out slow, and i had to leave just when it started to get exciting. we all had lunch at the soup spoon, all 8 of us interns. i don't like the soup spoon. compared to canada and the US, the soups aren't tt fantastic, not for the price you pay. my clam chowder was too thick and obviously starchy - not just coz of the potatoes -, a little too sweet and not salty enough for my liking. on my own, i wouldn't go there. but it wasn't my choice.
hey, at least we got yummy ben'n'jerry's ice-cream for dessert. i chose coffee over phish food coz the giant chocolate chunks in the ice-cream looked far too good to resist. and the sugar high leaves me happier for a longer time.
mina and i went back to the office to help our mentor settle some of the stuff he wanted us to do. got to sit in for a meeting, but ended up leaving the office at 7pm coz i had to search for some stuff urgently online and we ended up going on a wild goose chase coz most of the original info we had been starting out on was incorrect in the first place. nnbccb.
and then it was waiting outside rp for his car to show. waiting waiting waiting. i don't think i can ever get used to someone other than my dad picking me up and driving me around. it just feels so weird. but it's a very nice feeling tt i can get used to. i love the fact tt we have a car sometimes. i don't desperately need him to have one, but it's nice to be able to go wherever whenever, to just drive around all over singapore as far as changi or woodlands or tuas, and to just do anything you want in the car. like kiss, without people staring at you with their silent accusatory glares.
you can get an adrenalin high from a number of things; he is one of them for me. when i see him, my day just seems so much brighter. it's like being in a black-and-white film and seeing things in colour for the first time. not tt black-and-white is worse because it has its own rustic charm, but colour just adds another whole dimension and complexity and dare i say it?... beauty to the whole equation.
he drives me to alexandra food village for fish head hor fun. yummy. even when we kiss at traffic lights, we get horned at even though we keep an eye out on the colour... just coz we are kissing. i conclude tt the people in the cars behind are probably jealous coz: a) they are alone; or b) they have been married for several years.
but i digress. the hor fun was damn delicious. :) i like fish head hor fun. and har cheong gai. crunchy and tasty and oily and sinful, but who cares?
and then he drives me around for a while more before sending me back, and we talk as he drives. tonight i tell him tt one of the things tt surprises me the most, is tt he loves me.
because i never believed tt he would.
he was surprised. he asked me how i could be a person who enters a relationship when the other party does not love me.
i laughed.
i am not rational. or rather, i am not strong enough to be rational. i believe in taking chances. i believe in loving someone, even if tt person might not love me, in the faint hope tt maybe, just maybe, someday he will.
and in this case, he did.
he makes me so happy. i really do mean it - and tt amazes me - when i say tt there is no one i would like to spend all my time with, more.
the most difficult thing i do every night, is open the car door and walk away from him.
the greatest consolation for tt is: tt i don't have too long before i see him again. *muakz*
now playing: hotel costes - cafe de flor
"yeah, i love tako pachi man. they're my favourite."
"haha. me too. i just had some at tampines mall a couple of weeks ago. but the ones there aren't too good. they're kinda soggy and they put too much flour."
"oh. you live around tampines?"
"no, no. i just happened to be driving around. erm, correction. i just happened to be driven around. i get driven around a lot."
because of the friction with my mother last night - which, due to a miscommunication earlier in the day, resulted in him witnessing over the phone what a fit of 'reckless abandonment' was - this morning didn't start off too good. there was the perennial in-the-car lecture, which coupled with a major sinus problem from all day from the moment i woke up, didn't make for a good start. and then at the court i had 2 separate encounters with 2 rude people who thought they could throw their weight around just coz i didn't look like a lawyer or a police officer.
(not yet.)
today was my first murder trial. actually, it also marked my first-ever hearing. but as with all trials, the formalities is the most boring. the morning started out slow, and i had to leave just when it started to get exciting. we all had lunch at the soup spoon, all 8 of us interns. i don't like the soup spoon. compared to canada and the US, the soups aren't tt fantastic, not for the price you pay. my clam chowder was too thick and obviously starchy - not just coz of the potatoes -, a little too sweet and not salty enough for my liking. on my own, i wouldn't go there. but it wasn't my choice.
hey, at least we got yummy ben'n'jerry's ice-cream for dessert. i chose coffee over phish food coz the giant chocolate chunks in the ice-cream looked far too good to resist. and the sugar high leaves me happier for a longer time.
mina and i went back to the office to help our mentor settle some of the stuff he wanted us to do. got to sit in for a meeting, but ended up leaving the office at 7pm coz i had to search for some stuff urgently online and we ended up going on a wild goose chase coz most of the original info we had been starting out on was incorrect in the first place. nnbccb.
and then it was waiting outside rp for his car to show. waiting waiting waiting. i don't think i can ever get used to someone other than my dad picking me up and driving me around. it just feels so weird. but it's a very nice feeling tt i can get used to. i love the fact tt we have a car sometimes. i don't desperately need him to have one, but it's nice to be able to go wherever whenever, to just drive around all over singapore as far as changi or woodlands or tuas, and to just do anything you want in the car. like kiss, without people staring at you with their silent accusatory glares.
you can get an adrenalin high from a number of things; he is one of them for me. when i see him, my day just seems so much brighter. it's like being in a black-and-white film and seeing things in colour for the first time. not tt black-and-white is worse because it has its own rustic charm, but colour just adds another whole dimension and complexity and dare i say it?... beauty to the whole equation.
he drives me to alexandra food village for fish head hor fun. yummy. even when we kiss at traffic lights, we get horned at even though we keep an eye out on the colour... just coz we are kissing. i conclude tt the people in the cars behind are probably jealous coz: a) they are alone; or b) they have been married for several years.
but i digress. the hor fun was damn delicious. :) i like fish head hor fun. and har cheong gai. crunchy and tasty and oily and sinful, but who cares?
and then he drives me around for a while more before sending me back, and we talk as he drives. tonight i tell him tt one of the things tt surprises me the most, is tt he loves me.
because i never believed tt he would.
he was surprised. he asked me how i could be a person who enters a relationship when the other party does not love me.
i laughed.
i am not rational. or rather, i am not strong enough to be rational. i believe in taking chances. i believe in loving someone, even if tt person might not love me, in the faint hope tt maybe, just maybe, someday he will.
and in this case, he did.
he makes me so happy. i really do mean it - and tt amazes me - when i say tt there is no one i would like to spend all my time with, more.
the most difficult thing i do every night, is open the car door and walk away from him.
the greatest consolation for tt is: tt i don't have too long before i see him again. *muakz*
# posted by Kitana @ 7/25/2006 02:10:00 AM 
