Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Recovering My Past #14: December 21 2004 - January 1 2005
As of now, I wish to switch back to Blogspot. But I don't wish to lose all that I have worked for so far. So I will attempt to salvage as much of my past as I possibly can.
Wish me luck.
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I don't know if it's a bad omen to begin a New Year on a bad note, but if it is then I'm doomed. I think it sucked and will suck and it sounds pretty damn immature, but I feel like shit. So there. | |
NYE: PHOTOLOG It started out good. ... Met my dearest babes Yuwei and Kai for lunch.
For your information, Yuwei is is the taller girl (not tt you can tell from the pics) with the longer hair in the middle, and Kai is the one with the shorter blonde hair. I'm the one with the uh... bangs.
We had pasta at Gusto's at Wisma.
Went insanely click-happy with our cameras.
Particularly narcissistic Kai with the unsteady hand.
And posuer Yuwei with her big sunglasses.
And well, me with my stupid self-depracating shots.
I mean, our stupid self-depracating shots. :)
Okay... now Yuwei acting cute.
And trying to snip off my hair.
UH. Me and Kai...
Our orgasmic tiramisu.
Ooh. Look at me lust! :P
And trust me it *was* good. Yay. I love my bestest friends!!! :)
And then later there was dinner at Baker's Inn with Adrian, Jason, Henry, Jane and Wanyi. Here's the three of us in a happier moment.
Goodbye 2004, Hello 2005. ... But I wish it could have ended better.
P.S. Yes dear Yuwei I want my lesbian pic!!! | |
I get a chance to turn on the TV to CNN and BBC and have the newspapers all to myself when I'm at home. Apparently the preferred mode of donation is in money. And the most fucked up thing is tt while there's no shortfall of aid, this aid just can't *reach* the damn areas coz of the shattered infrastructure. It's 120, 000 - the numbers increase day after day. It's not just tt 1 hour anymore, it's the aftermath and the lack of food and clean water, the starting of the spread of disease, and the more you watch the more frustrated you are tt you can do jack. Someone said to me tt we shouldn't be living life as per normal. We shouldn't be going on our day to day as our Asian neighbours grieve. My reply was, so what do you expect us to do? Right now we can help by donating money, or canned food or water bottles or bandages or medication (tho I still think money helps the most), or we can go down to the donation centres to help sort out the packages... But if you've already done all of the above, short of joining an international aid organisation and flying into Aceh or Phuket what more can you possibly do? Once you've done all you can, guess there's nothing else to be done except live your life. Normally, to the fullest. no use stoning or reminiscing or contemplating the multitude of death. Call me cruel or cold-hearted, but maybe it's the way I approach death. To me, my own death is neither sad nor scary, but a part of life, and no matter what form death takes, then so be it. Admittedly I'd rather die in a car crash or something whereby I can die a name and a face and not just a number in a statistic, and maybe it's coz I don't know them personally tt I can't empathise enough, but I'm not going to be a hypocrite. I think I'll be insensitive to belittle the disaster because yes, 120, 000 is such a huge number I can't physically imagine the scene even while watching it on TV because nothing will beat standing there physically yourself in the midst of everything. But unless you can justify to me how stoning, crying, cancelling all your plans and doing nothing is going to glorify or alleviate the deaths of the 120, 000, then don't expect me to follow suit. Singaporeans are blessed. Our nature of being surrounded by Malaysia and the Indonesian islands has been both blessing and curse, but this time it's been a blessing. I believe that God works in ways that makes everything pan out; he divides people into the more and the less fortuate for the reason tt he wants the more fortunate to help the less fortunate. So we help, but at the same time we appreciate and are forced to value our more fortunate position more. Live life to the fullest? It's a cliche but well, isn't tt better than wasting life in mundanity when life itself is so fragile and therefore so precious? Speaking of which, I'll be honest here. Or as honest as I can be without being direct. Yes, there are problems in friendship. There have been many issues tt have happened that has been left unsaid. Many things you do not bring up, many things tt hurt or anger me but I never tell you for fear of hurting you, but inevitably let them fester and build and make me bitter. I'm sad tt you do not trust me and better yet will not tell me to my face. I'm angry tt I can be questioned when some things were done without even my opinion, and yet I wouldn't even put myself in a position to force my opinions down on you. My impressions and views of people may be vastly different from yours. I may see good in someone whom you think is evil, and similarly I may think hypocritical someone whom you think is nice. Yet I do not presume to judge. After all, no matter what my loyalty would always have been to you, first and foremost. I always wanted to tell you tt my world does not revolve around you. Sometimes I think tt is what you think I am, a side kick. That I'm always there but as a person I don't really matter. Maybe I'm being too harsh on you. I'm not angry. I'm not accusatory. I'm sad. I'm disappointed. The only person I'm angry with is myself, for feeling this way, for not telling you about it and letting everything just build. Now I just feel bitter and hurt and resentful, and damn my pride but I don't think I am currently capable of standing down or giving in. And still there are so many things tt I haven't and am not going to and will not tell you. Now why is tt? Hah. Happy New Year. | |
INDULGENCES SATISFIED Apparently my materialistic wishes have been coming true one after the other. I guess that's the upside of having really indulgent parents and super duper caring friends. Currently the amount of *new* stuff I have in hall from Christmas till my birthday is....
...Materialism at its finest. 1. My pink iPod mini. I finally have one, courtesy of Mark. He sold me his at $400, and I'm getting a $200 subsidy from my dad for my birthday! I'm so so so excited! I have joined the ranks of the iPod elite, and oh mi gosh the iPod mini is such a gorgeous creature. GOSH. I'm in lurrrrve. 2. My Timex Heart Rate Monitor Ironman Triathalon watch. I'm wearing it now. Xmas present from the parents. I love it love it love it. :) 3. Travis "Singles". CD *is* my birthday present from Mark. Thank you Mark!!! *hugz* Now I can listen to "Love Will Come Through" over and over again. On my iPod. 4. "The Curious Incident of the Dog at Night Time" by Mark Haddon and "The Piano Teacher" by Alfriede Jenalick. I bought both books myself from Sunny Bookshop. Am halfway through the former. So fantastic. 5. Pink adidas sports bra. Yay! More pink! More sports bras! 6. Pink Nike tank top from Yanli. That gorgeous wonderful friend of mine has gone and willingly blown her money on tt expensive top all for me! Oh mi gosh again! I love it to bits; it's gush-worthy gorgeous. :) Thank you babe I am so so grateful. 7. Red pig pillow. I bought this myself, today, on a whim. Was supposed to get Ivan's birthday present. Thought 1 Asics jersey not enough, so I bought a really cute green turtle from Action City. And they had these pig pillows!!! So I really couldn't resist and bought 1 for myself. Gosh. I love to hug it so much! It's so so so comfy I could fall asleep on it. Aww...
I'm so so happy!!!!!
And so contented.
Heh. And a camera whore. :P On a side note, oh mi gosh but don't you think I and my pig LOOK SO ALIKE??? Wahaha. You can agree. See, same *big nose*. Heh heh heh. And not featured in the first picture: 8. Maroon 5's "Songs About Jane" and U2's "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb". Rosalind bought *BOTH* CDs for me. Oh man you have no idea how touched and grateful I am. I still can't believe you spent so much and took all tt trouble for me. I'm really so so thankful to have friends like you, girl. 9. And Adrian is helping me to order my Oakley's M Frame Hybrid S as well as my Asics Gel Empires - my birthday presents from my parents. :) He's also bought me cK Eternity Moment for my birthday. Grateful man, grateful. And more than blessed. There's nothing else I wish for anymore. Arhaha. Thank you guys, and thank you God. :) | |
| "LOVE WILL COME THROUGH" I heard this song on the Garden State trailer, but I never had a clue as to where it came from until yesterday at Borders Music, when they were playing Travis' 'Singles' and I heard it and I'm in love with this song and I want Travis' 'Singles' now. But it's $24.95 at Borders. The 'Garden State' soundtrack retails at Borders too, how exciting. For $21.95. :) I think Borders Music is my new fave music hangout. Speaking of which, inspite of the angsty angry entries the past two days or so, no I'm not really an angsty bitch ok Wanyi? Okay... I admit I am a little moody. And a little bitchy... But *still*!! :P Tuesday night was fun. After over 6 hours on the soccer field in my soccer boots playing (lousy) soccer :P, I had a really fun bitch-fest with Sam. Until about 3am +. UGH. Imagine the amount of venom you can spout in 4 hours... No wonder I felt 100x better after tt. Wahaha. And on Wed I still had to wake up at 7.15am to give my girls wake-up calls for soccer. And after tt session, I went to grab a hasty lunch and then the SRC gym just to er... "try out" gymming after forever. Arhaha... not good not good. After tt it was meeting Hsien at Wheelock, where we also met (again) Sam, this time with Naeem and Henry who had been banging himself against the glass walls of Sakae Sushi to get our attention. One's going to LSE, one's going to Durham. Both pursuing their dreams out of Singapore. Of course, NUS Law really isn't "all that bad". Really. Then we went to Big O and I had dessert; chocolate fudge cake with chocolate ice-cream with choc chips and choc syrup. Talk about chocolate overkill. And me and Hsien just caught up on our lives... and the irritations of being single in a sea of married... i mean, attached friends. Then Yanli darling came along and she gave us each a rose and a card. The girl's been consumed with TV production and filming, and in love with her director. I guess for someone like me I wouldn't see the draw of so much commitment, but I can tell she's very happy doing what she's doing, and that is enough for me. One thing about meeting up with old friends only twice a year is this strange feeling; on one hand it's surreal how it seems like nothing has changed and you're doing what you used to do everyday 2 years ago; yet on the other hand everything's changed and everyone's lives have diverged drastically. And now Hsien looks classy with red-streaked hair and a pleated skirt and over whazzis-name (finally), and for me, I feel like some of the things that have happened to me ever since were things that happened to someone else, in another life time. I'm not the same person as before, yet I am. I'm happy. Thank you very much. Yanli bought me my birthday present early. From Nike, within 5 min she blew almost 50 bucks on this top. I'm so touched. I can't believe she'd spend so much $$ on me. Yeesh. I don't feel worth it actually, and Hsien got me a pretty wallet from Fossil with a bikini on the front. Very cute. And then from one appointment it was on to the next, with my cousins in Marche. Dee, Jo and Hong-jie. Stuffed ourselves with food, reminisced about old memories and our families... what do you talk about with your cousins? Esp when you see some of them only once a year on a very superficial level? Or when your families are having all these frictional bits with each other and you're surreptitiously avoiding the frictional bits but yet the frictional bits always overshadow conversation anyway. That's the problem about being in a *really* dysfunctional family. According to Dee we are like the Masters of the Sea, just without the Margaret Chan matriach (I think we might have had one, but she probably died). Jo's bf came to collect her so tt they could buy his bday present, but out of pure evilness I got her to convince him to make him stay a while so tt we could all see him (somemore). Anyway if I'm going to see him for the rest of my life if they get married (marriage = still scary and forbidding thought to me tho IMHO), I might as well get used to him now. Wahaha. Of course as usual, it's the same Awkward/Embarassing position whenever Ze BF is meeting Ze Other Friends/Family. Heh heh heh. :) That is why I am not an advocate of meeting anyone else's bf unless a) I have other company tt I can turn to so that I can avoid awkward situations or instances where there are goo-goo eyes and I'm going to try to be nice and not stare big holes into the back of the goo-goo eyed pair; or b) I have a bf myself, in which case I could be nice and absorbed in his company and not care about awkward situations and goo-goo eyes. After tt I have to burn off 2 hours being bored and tired and argh... the fatigue from too little sleep kicks in. I walk to Zouk from Orchard MRT btw, coz bus 16 is always too damn packed and I can't get a cab. Zouk's crowded. As usual. Damn fucking crowded. Whole fucking world is there, esp coz it's the last clubbing night for most JC kids and the like. See a lot of really familiar faces, some I want to say hi too, some I'd written out a long time ago (btw, if you're wondering why I don't say 'hi' to everyone, it's coz in the past when I was pale fat be-spectacled and nerdy these same people wouldn't give a fuck about me. So why should I care anymore?). Wanyi, Sam and I queue twice, once for ourselves and once for Jane. We've concluded that Singaporeans in general are classless. Thing about Zouk is tt almost any Tom Dick or Harry can get in, as long as I supposed you have the moo-lah. What most people don't realise is tt looks isn't everything. You can pile on the make-up and shorten the hemlines and look really hot, but you can spout rubbish about how cool you are and where you've been and all the guys you want to see and you can be utter trash. You can wear a nice shirt and a nice cologne but assume incorrectly, that using the word 'fuck' is damn fucking cool, and like, you're so going to fucking use the word 'fuck' in every fucking sentence that you fucking spout to your friend, in this really fucking loud voice and not giving a flying fuck about how much of a fucking irritation (not to mention a fucking moron) you are to every fucking person within fucking earshot of you; and honestly my friend, you can go back to your third-class world. Zouk is when I start speaking perfect English, because the bimbo lians and wannabe ah-bengs and their voices just piss me off. There was this stupid bitch in front of me and the more I had to put up with whatever noise was coming out of tt mouth of hers (it was English but it's classified 'noise' because it really isn't worth the amount of energy expended in spouting it), the more I itched to slap her. And all these people were cutting in and they were like "excuse me excuse me" and I kept quiet only because I didn't want to cause a scene and descend all the way down to their level. But honestly, I had all these scathing remarks on the tip of my tongue and I don't give a fuck about whether it's nice or not. I've never resolved to be nice to begin with. So after 2 times we finally get in, and it's fucking crowded inside too. We finally find a squished place in Phuture among a bunch of despos and sluts and couples making out, get attacked by despo NS guys, witness lots of scandalous material, but inspite of tt... Me Jane Wanyi and Sam, we stick close, we watch out for each other... and inspite of being stepped on and squished and assaulted I think we had a lot of fun dancing and dancing and dancing. And all without alcohol. I don't need alcohol to enjoy myself dancing anymore. I just need my 3 girlfriends, Jane Sam and Wanyi with me. :) And somehow everything just turns out all right. I don't mind spending NYE with you, even tho there will be... others. Bah. LOVE WILL COME THROUGH - Travis If I told you a secret You won't tell a soul Will you hold it and keep it alive Cause it's burning a hole And I can't get to sleep And I can't live alone in this lie So look up Take it away Don't look da-da-da- down the mountain If the world isn't turning Your heart won't return Anyone, anything, anyhow So take me don't leave me Take me don't leave me Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you Well I stand at the crossroads Of highroads and lowroads And I got a feeling it's right If it's real what I'm feeling There's no makebelieving The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove Take it away Don't look da-da-da down the mountain If the world isn't turning Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow... So take me don't leave me Take me don't leave me Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you So look up Take it away Don't look da-da-da- down If the world isn't turning Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow... So take me don't leave me Take me don't leave me Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you Love will come through Love will come through Love will come through | |
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
| I'm not here to fucking entertain you so shut the fuck up already. | |
| I am particularly disillusioned with people and discontent with the state of affairs. Just cast off the damn veil of hypocrisy already because I'm holding so much of myself back I'm decomposing inside, and I hate being dishonest with myself. Don't pretend to be what you're not, and don't expect me to be what I'm not. I don't care what the labels are anymore, I am what I am, I do what I do, and I don't compromise on my values, either. And if you think that I'm not worth your time, then so be it. Coz you've just made it abundantly clear to me that you're not worth mine. | |
| OF MAIDS (THE LACK OF), MOMS (AND DADS) AND MOTHER-IN-LAWS (THE "M" WORD) Fuckanarthan. On a side note, why is it fuckanarthan and not fuckaleehsienloong or fuckageorgebush or fuckatonyblair? I mean, why fuck our president? It's not like he's done anything to us right? Seriously, we see him only a total of once a year on National Day waving stoically to the reluctant NUS men standing in the national stadium. What can he possibly do? But nonetheless. Fuckanarthan. I came back to hall for this captain's meeting that has lasted approximately 10 minutes, and has absolutely no relevance to me. WTF man. If not for my collection of movies from "Meet the Fockers" to "National Treasure" to "Finding Neverland" to "I Heart Hucklebees", I'd be so fucking pissed. But at least the 10 min meeting was a "legitimate excuse" for me to escape my duties at home, as according to my mom. You see, the situation is that for the past Xmas weekend, we've been Maidless due to my prev maid being a horny slut. My dad found USED CONDOMS under her bed on Thurs night. What the fuck??? Disgusting bitch. Even if you're going to fuck your bangladeshi boyfriend on my fucking property at least throw the damn thing away!!! Gross gross gross. So for the weeekend, *WE* have been the maids. This would normally be ok, except: a) my dad is a paranoid neat-freak who enjoys delegating, even at home. The label is given by my mom, not me. The result of this, is that my dad insists that the house be cleaned every day. I don't mean once a week or every alternate day. I'm talking every day. My mom was especially pissed coz even after she cleaned the toilet in the morning, by evening my dad insisted tt it was dirty and needed cleaning. And she was like, "WTF? It's only been less than ONE day." Anyway if you think cleaning the house once a day is NOT THAT BAD, tt's prob because you haven't seen my house. Of course, I'm sending out invitations to my birthday party once it hits 2005, so on Jan 15 2005 you'll def be able to, but till then, just trust me. You can spend an entire day just cleaning the damn house. Furthermore, the same scenario generally happens for every chore related to the house. Example: mopping the floor. Dad: "The floor's not clean. I will mop the whole house." (later) Dad: "Bel, can you help me to mop the house?" Me: "No prob." (later) Dad: "Here's the cloth. I'll help you mop." (later) The scene will usually end up with me mopping the floor and my dad relaxing in his chair. After which he will come by and ask if you've mopped the floor cleanly. So in 1 day I vacuum the whole house, sweep the whole garden, mop most of the house, wash my mom's car, wash the toilets... And then, let's move on to: b) my mom. Who, according to my dad, is an "equal misery" type person. Meaning, she'll create work for herself. Like cook. I love my mom's cooking and I know she cares enough to cook for us. The problem with cooking, as opposed to going out to eat (like my dad proposed), is the cleaning up. Besides washing the pots and pans and the dishes, there's the cleaning of both kitchens, the wiping down of the stove, and later the washing of the cloth used to clean everything. So after washing the dishes and feeding the dog, I ask my mom if there's anything else she needs me to do. She says, no. She only has the floor to mop. So I join my dad in watching TV (note: my dad does not do dishes. After eating dinner, he goes and watches TV. Typical MCP). And then my mom gets angry at us both for leaving her to mop the floor, to which my dad calls her an "equal misery" person tt demands everyone suffer with her before she's happy. So yes, this is why house work is no joke for my family. And why I enjoy escaping. Okay, so it's not right and it's not fillial, but it's a lot less stressful for me. This is because my weekend at home has been compounded by the inclusion of the "M" word. Before, my mom used to nag me about boyfriends. Or rather, tt I shouldn't have a boyfriend till I "start working" so tt I won't be distracted from my studies (obviously I don't really care tho). And now tt I have stuck to her words (not intentionally), because I'm in dragonboat she's been on my case to quit the team because she thinks tt dragonboat will make me big and muscular, such tt no guy will ever want me, and then I'll turn Lesbian. Now, she has gone and done it. She has mentioned the dreaded phrase: "Your future mother-in-law." Or rather, in context: "If you don't learn how to do housework, your future mother-in-law will curse me." "If you don't learn how to cook, your future mother-in-law will not be happy with you." "If you don't (something), your future mother-in-law will (something)." ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't even have a fucking BOYFRIEND and my parents are considering, no. Not a future boyfriend. Not even a future husband. But a future MOTHER-IN-LAW. Oh God if they're trying to scare me off marriage for life, they are succeeding. Shudder.
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| My blood runs cold when I read the papers about the amount of lives lost in less than 1 devastating hour. | |
| RIVER REGATTA 2004: THE EXTENSIVE PHOTOLOG As in race tradition, I *always* put up the extensive photolog of my fave pictures from the race the moment I get all the other photographs. Anyway I didn't get the CD till at the dragonboat Xmas party last Wed, and I only managed to access the CD at home where my comp has a CD-drive. So while they're late, I'm uploading the pics for everyone (incl) myself to enjoy. P.S. Okay, I cheated. I checked my exam results early. And once again, I believe that God really works miracles. I got a 'B' for Prop Law, which I thought I was going to fail. Praise the Lord. This also goes to show that just because you have a race 1 night before your exam, and because you can't study the entire weekend for it, doesn't mean you won't do well. Calculated risks, well-taken, are WORTH taking. Praise God. Okay, now on to the photos. DAY 1: Our races *always* begin with the traditional breakfast at MacDonald's. No matter which year, what time, or where the race is held. Always Always Always Mac's.  So taa-daa! The team, after a hearty breakfast.  And again, with our Usual Pose - the "We're Number One!" pose. You know, our current IVP jacket - which is basically uncleared stock from 2 years back (cheapo NUS spent all their $$ sending the soccer team to China, and therefore had no money for the rest of us), is a bit difficult to wear, coz the netting inside the sleeves always get so bunched up tt it's almost impossible to put your arms through the damn hole. So after much trouble in stuffing my hand through the sleeve, I desperately turned to Angeline for help. And somehow this photo got taken.  The first time I saw it, 2 thoughts came into mind: a) OMG, I am SO SHORT. b) OMG, my calves are HUMONGOUS. Sigh. And then, below's my favouritist photo of all: where we all gather for the NUS Whoosh. I really really love this picture. It captures the spirit, and the mood of the team. You know how sometimes, you do these ridiculous Whooshes with only half a heart because you don't feel anything and you think they make you look a) extra and b) stupid. For me, that happens a lot. The only time it doesn't happen... is for dragonboat.  This was just before we went down for the Team A Heats (I think). I'm the extra one in the black Nike cap with the giant white tick. Ooh, btw I LOVE our black life vests. Always makes me feel so *cool*, like a SWAT team member. Heh. The pic below is the warm-up process before the Mixed Heats, with the guys' team. Cindy and I make up the "Last Man" pair - coz we're the biggest and the strongest out of everyone in the team. No, kidding. Actually I have no idea why also. Heh.  I think team photographers have an eye for aesthetics, if I should say so myself. ;) DAY 2: Okay... moving on to Day 2. Pre-race moments are always characterised by a lot of: a) monkeying around  b) taking retarded group pictures (and MORE "We're Number One!!!" poses)  c) stoning (and looking incredibly du-lan on my part)  There's my usual narcissistic photo - the one picture in which I look really really good in and will probably never find again. Heh.  Actually, I think we all look really good here. Must be the skilful photographer. :P Then there's the Mixed semis.  Now I'm in the mid-front with Cindy. We're going to head out. And then there's the Plate Finals (which we won tt Gold Plate from). From waiting...  To heading out...  To encouraging each other...  To winning. Here's our post-race cheer. I love this pic too.  So now the "We're Number One!!!" pose is finally justified (again). :)  Meiping gets to take centre-stage... (I think this photo is so cute)  And we take so many damn photos...  That we end up kalang kabok-ing some of them. (Like this one, where we all just over-balanced and lurched forward mid-shot). :P Hilarious.  Wah. My mouth damn big. Scary siah. We also (finally) get to throw the captain around.  The only time where the captain is very literally at our mercy. Heh heh heh. Yep, so that's it for more of the photos. Heh heh. Last pic last pic: From yet another angle. :)  *muakz* Love my girls. P.P.S. On an unrelated note, so some reason everyone is making appointments with me on Wed. At this point in time it stands at 4, with NONE confirmed. So my apologies, I'll have to start turning down 1 or 2 once they get confirmed. P.P.P.S. Is life so valueless, that we can get wiped out like ants by the very thing we least expect? | |
Saturday, December 25, 2004
DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS? :) 10.15pm. My day has officially ended. Am finally doing a normal blog. Haha. Merry Christmas to everyone out there, whether you celebrate it or not. It's funny; I've been getting all these Xmas SMSes, but there's some kind of immunity to it. Coz they're mass messages to everyone on someone's phone list and somehow altho I think I should appreciate the $0.05 spent, I don't. Not really. The only Xmas SMS tt made me laugh so far, was the one from Wendy from dragonboat: "Merry Xmas. A bit early I know, but I know thousands of Rich and Sexy people, so I thought I'd start with the Ugly Fuckers first." How's tt for an Xmas message? Cheers to you too. :P Am not really in an Xmassy mood this year. Not sure why. Must be because: a) hectic lifestyle. Past few days have been a barrage of trainings (and I had my swimming time trial at 9am on Thursday a few hours after a lousy night at Phuture with Jane - too damn bloody crowded); rushing here and there to run errands and meet up with people (e.g. get black belt cert within half an hour, meet for lunch, meet up with teammates for Xmas party (explains the gift exchange photos), and Chinablack and supper - now THAT was so so so fucking fun even tho the music at Chinablack sucked like hell. My teamates are damn fun to party and makan with after tt... BBQ stingray, sotong, hokkien mee, satay and dessert, and reaching hall at 6-something am in the morning after tt) b) maidless family means housework for super sloth izzy. So now I've got to vacuum and mop the floor, wash the dishes, feed the dog (who was fucking ill-treated by tt bastard of an ex-maid), pack my room and wash the toilet, and other er... miscellaneous stuff. Darnit. Christmas cleaning just doesn't lift the spirit. c) No snow. I don't know. This year I don't feel the spirit as much. Maybe I'm jaded. Maybe the midnight mass doesn't life the spirit enough. It's just me and my parents going around, church and to supper. I wish there was snow. I wish it was cold. Gives you a reason to huddle. I wish S'poreans would make like the foreigners in the other countries and yell "merry christmas" to each other from across the street. My mom and I crossed from the Cathedral of the Good Shepard to CHIJMES to just look around. Teenagers, ang mohs everywhere. Drinking, drinking, drinking. I don't have the right to say tt Xmas should be holy or anything coz I don't really subscribe to the Catholic virtues of Christmas myself, but strangely, there's a gladness that I'm spending my Christmas night walking hand-in-hand with my mom, while watching strangers puke in the streets. Because then again there is nowhere else, and with no one else, that I would rather spend Xmas with, if not my family (I just wish there was MORE of us, like a brother or a sister, or just my cousins that I could talk to, and not be the only one). But I feel lost. Somehow I feel like something is missing from my life. I've so many things to do and friends around and I get the freedom of choice to pick and choose, yet I feel like something is missing. Today we had a buffet lunch at Triple 3 at Mandarin Hotel. A lot of food, and esp chocolate. Gourmet chocolate, fondue, mousse, ice-cream etc etc etc. I ate so much I'm swearing off chocolate for a week. And then Denise and her family came over after lunch, and we had a fantastic dinner with them later. And somehow I feel glad tt they've come over, that the house isn't so quiet. I miss the days when our extended family gathered at my house for Christmas. I miss the festive cheer and music, the people, and loud and crazy laughter and the amazing amount of food and mahjong playing. When Xmas is too quiet, somehow something is just... missing. I wish I didn't feel so down. I don't even know why. It's Christmas, but it doesn't feel like it. I have everything I want and need, but I feel so acutely like something is missing. And that depresses me... P.S. No, I'm not checking my results till after New Year. Don't ask, don't remind. Thanks. | |
MISCELLANEOUS PHOTOLOG As promised, here are the pictures taken from the week. 1 event has been blogged about; 2 have not. Oh well... Just a filler entry. :) Merry Xmas! From Monday - Yuwei and Myself at Sentosa: A contrast of immaculate proportions.
Yes, the small orange towel was the towel I intended to use as my beach towel. So? SO? Whatcha gonna do about it? Okay. Admittedly it wasn't a terrific idea. As you can tell from all the fucking sand on my very chubby tummy. (And other areas of my body).
Oh yar... For the people who want a glimpse of my tattoo... Your one and only chance now. Mind the sand (and the white butt).
Gorgeous Yuwei. :) Of course.
And now me, right in your face!
Boo!!! Did I scare ya? Did I? Did I? Okay ok. I know you'd rather look at her than at me. Okay okay, here's a compromise. The both of us. Close.
And CLOSER.
Okay, now these are the turtles I saw at the bus-stop where we take the shuttle bus out. And the white thing is Yuwei's finger. She was trying to point at them. Well.
And finally, the both of us on the bus. She's tanner and I'm now Malay. Whoopie.
From Wednesday - the Dragonboat Xmas Party: Paiseh. I only took gift exchange shots. So the first pic is that of Yirang giving me my Xmas present. She bought me this huge purple/pink pouch from Urban! Can fit discman! Can take running and cycling! Can emulate TSK! I love it!!!
And this is me giving Cindy her present. I bought her this VCD 'Bowling for Columbine'. Admittedly you tend to buy people gifts you want for yourself, so it so happened I bought her something I would love... But I don't know if she'll like it. Sekali too depressing or disillusioning for her. :(
BTW, reason I'm so red is coz I drank about 2 cups of wine. Yeesh. From Thurs - my Taekwondo Black belt cert. I finally got it after a 3-year hiatus. So you (and I) can have a good look at the damn thing (that looks like it can be put together in 15 min. Wonder what they were doing with the other 2 years, 364 days, 23 hours and 45 mins).
Better/longer entry coming soon (hopefully). In the meantime, MERRY XMAS!!! K. I have to go back to packing my messy room now (on orders of the mom, who says that my room is a domestic disaster. Dammit). Wonderful Xmas Eve I'm having. So for now, I'll leave you with the Maroon 5 song tt I love love love right now. SWEETEST GOODBYE -
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| Swimming always leaves me damn hungry. Okay okay. Will promise more coherent blog entries soon. For now, me gonna go out. Ciao. | |
| Phuture is too damn fucking crowded. And I'm seriously worried about and for one of my friends now. | |
| MY GOD IT'S NOT EVEN 11 PM AND I'M FUCKING TIRED ALREADY... Today was a busy day, to say the least. Woke up at 8-something, and stoned as usual, dragged myself out of bed for swimming training at 9am. So it's the usual. I am happy to say tt I'm getting used to swimming and the water after a 6 month hiatus (from the swimming pool). It's tiring, but it's manageable now. Anyway by the time we warm down and bathe, it's 12. And I have to catch a bus back to hall to collect jersey samples from the volleyball captain to show to my girls, plus meet them there. So I'm in hall by 12.30pm . After changing into my sports shoes (mind you my hair is still wet from swimming/bathing and I haven't eaten lunch yet), I rush down to the lobby to get there before the girls do. Then when most of them (from my blk) arrive, I show them the jersey samples while waiting for the rest. We make our way down to SRC around 1+. Train for about 2 hours under the hot sun - I can feel my face burn. I look so tanned now I could pass off for a Malay. But the turn-out today is fantastic. I've never felt so uplifted. We're super tired, but it's a lot of fun. Maybe tt's why I like team sports, even if I have zero ball sense. Then it's back to hall in a rush to catch this strange mini-hall presentation thingy tt was put up to motivate us athletes. Um. Well. I thought I would have to make my grand entrance coz I was late, but it seemed the programme includes an inherent half an hour delay. After tt I bathe again (because I'm drenched in sweat and it's a gross feeling). It's around 5pm now. I head down to Queensway to a) order the jersey sets (finally! it's settled) and b) get my soccer boots. Got some cheapo brand called 'Topper' for $36. Pretty comfy and not a bad black colour. Nice. I like it already. Oh, and then I have my linner/dunch. Er. Lunch close to 6? Mac's. Unhealthy but no choice. I don't know what I'd been running on the whole day but I was incredibly famished. And then I get back, meet KC from Blk C and haha... end up crashing the VC BBQ at Salvation Army for about 5 min. Then KC says he feels like going to the gym, so we walk to the SRC gym around 8pm. By the time I get back it's close to 9pm. So I crash my Blk Level's BBQ/Steamboat thingy with the girls, which has a whole TON of food. Man, I miss the abundance of food. Really. So much fun... I ate a lot (even tho I wasn't tt hungry anymore). And there was ice-cream!!! :) Around 10pm we help to pack up and wash up, and then I come back to my room to sort out the mess and lace up my new soccer boots. I'm so tired. And I have soccer training at 8am tomorrow morning. Better than tt: a) *I* am giving my whole team wake-up calls; and b) *I* set the damn time. What the fuck is wrong with me? BTW, with regards to the situation at home, essentially my maid let some guy into the home - which my parents suspect has been over the period of days. Don't know if it's her boyfriend or whether she's just earning extra cash on the side selling other er... favours, but anyway last night my mom happened to chance on the half-naked guy in her room. So around 1am my dad called the cops (and me), and this morning they sent her home. So now we're maidless, my mom's not feeling too good coz the maid left a mess of laundry to do and it sucks to have ridiculous problems like this happen again and again, and my dad wants me to come home. But considering the little I can do at home, and how much I feel obligated to do here.... WELL. | |
