absolutum dominium

i've stuck a video code (currently) on tt ridiculously retarded but nonetheless very catchy song by the black eyed peas - my humps. and if you weren't clear what was being referred to in the lyrics, the video makes it explicit enough.

i can't wait till sat and 50 cent. 50 50 50... i would have included the video clip for "óutta control" instead, except tt it's just another boring club video.

oh. and watch "requiem for a dream". it is so fucking powerful.

i should know. i just did.

from singapore window; article available here.

Separating fact from fiction, despite a deep sense of human compassion

Singapore cannot afford to pull back from its tough drug trafficking position, writes Joseph Koh.

Sydney Morning Herald
November 30, 2005

ALTHOUGH opinions are not unanimous, many Australians strongly oppose Singapore's decision not to commute the death sentence on Nguyen Tuong Van for drug trafficking. I respect these views, which spring from a deep sense of human compassion. However, the outcry has made it difficult to separate fact from fiction.

Fiction 1: "Singapore has breached international law." There is no international agreement to abolish the death penalty. Capital punishment remains part of the criminal justice systems of 76 countries, including the US, where it is practised in 38 states. We respect Australia's choice not to have capital punishment. We hope Australia will likewise respect Singapore's choice to impose the death penalty for the most serious crimes. The overwhelming majority of Singaporeans support this.

Fiction 2: "The death penalty has not deterred drug trafficking." This logic is flawed. The death penalty has not eliminated drug trafficking, but it has deterred drug trafficking. Since introducing tough anti-drug laws in the mid-1970s, drug trafficking and drug abuse in Singapore have come down significantly.

Fiction 3: "Nguyen is an unsuspecting victim." Nguyen may not be a hardened criminal, but he knew what he was doing and the penalty if caught. Had he succeeded, he would have made a lot of money. If we let off a convicted courier because of age, financial difficulties or distressed family background, it would be easier for drug traffickers to recruit more "mules" with the assurance that they would escape the death penalty.

Fiction 4: "The punishment does not fit the crime." Nguyen was caught with 396 grams of pure heroin, enough for 26,000 "hits", with a street value of more than $1 million. Yes, he was in transit through Singapore but Singapore cannot allow itself to become a hub for illicit drugs in the region.

Fiction 5: "Nguyen can testify against Mr Bigs." All drug syndicates assume some of their couriers will get caught. They never let the couriers know enough to incriminate them. The information that Nguyen provided to Singapore's authorities was of limited value, and was in fact intended to mislead and delay the investigation.

Fiction 6: "Singapore connives with drug lords." This is an old falsehood propagated by Dr Chee Soon Juan [an Opposition leader]. He has alleged the Singapore Government had invested in projects in Burma that supported the drug trade. When this first surfaced in 1996 the Singaporean Government explained its investment in the Myanmar Fund was open and above board. The Government offered to set up a commission of inquiry so that Chee could produce evidence to prove his allegations. Unfortunately, Chee never took up the offer.

Fiction 7: "Singapore has treated Australia with contempt." Singapore highly values good relations with Australia and its leaders. We share a common belief in the sanctity of the law. Singapore's cabinet deliberated at length over Nguyen's clemency petition. It considered all relevant factors and the many public and private appeals from Australian leaders. Unfortunately, finally the cabinet decided that it could not justify making an exception for Nguyen. It had to treat Nguyen consistently with similar past cases, and apply the law equally to Singaporeans and foreigners.

Singapore's leaders have taken pains to explain our decision to Australian leaders, in writing and in person. Singapore's Foreign Affairs Minister, George Yeo, had also informed Australia's Foreign Affairs Minister, Alexander Downer, confidentially in advance of when the family would be notified of the execution date, and explained to Downer that the family should be the first to learn of the date.

So when Singapore's Prime Minister, Lee Hsien Loong, met his Australian counterpart, John Howard, in Pusan, he could not inform him of the execution date either. Lee did not know the letter of notification had already by mistake been delivered to Mrs Nguyen one day early. Once Lee discovered what had happened, he promptly apologised to Howard.

Some Australians will not agree with everything I have written. But I hope they will accept that the Singaporean Government has a responsibility to protect the many lives that would otherwise be blighted and destroyed by the drug syndicates, and to prevent Singapore from becoming a conduit for illicit drugs. We are all touched by the pain and anguish of Nguyen's mother, but if we waver in our firm position against drug trafficking, many more families will be shattered.

Joseph Koh is Singapore's high commissioner in Australia.

read this.

my point exactly.

and for those who have been asking, no i am not pro-PAP, and i have great respect for JB jeyaratnam.

but i cannot and will not allow myself to ever support someone like chee soon juan, whose arguments seem to be more against the country of singapore than against the PAP and do a lot to undermine our reputation in the face of our international neighbours, which is anything but in our national favour.

so just to clarify.

sulynn and i traipsed down to the field outside salish and stomped around in the snow. and we had an inpromptu snow ball fight with the 'packing snow' tt looks and feels like shaved ice, and we found a snowman of sorts tt someone had made during the night.

winter has come, and it has reduced me to a kid again.

but i love it.

the view from my window right now.

winter has come.

yirang and geok and my rock and cindy and jul and mona and yunshan and ah ping and cheez and all the rest of my girls...

it's still fall in vancouver. but it's not raining anymore. from my window, i can see the tiny flakes of snow as they descend from the sky.

it's currently one degree outside. a part of me is thankful tt i am in the warmth of my room. a part of me is thankful tt i spent some time in the past hour outside in tt cold, standing with my arms outstretched and my face upturned towards the sky, watching and feeling as the flakes fell on and landed on my cheeks, my hair, my sweater and my hands.

as for my laptop, i had to buy a new one. it really hurt tt i had to blow around CAD $2000 for a new laptop. it really fucking hurt. but i didn't have a choice. when i went to get the assessment for tt lame-assed excuse for a fucking laptop hp today, the repair guy told me straight out tt he couldn't repair it. apparently the motherboard got trashed, and he needed to order a new one from hp direct since this model wasn't instock. and this process would take at least 2 weeks or more, and cost me upwards of CAD $500.

for tt fucking piece of shit.

so fuck it. forget tt i can't retrieve any of the things in my laptop anymore; not my many many pictures of vancouver and my friends and the dragonboat girls, not my 4 gb of music tt i painstakingly built up over the past 1 over year, and not the info and the work tt went towards the 2 papers i was working on but was too fucking stupid not to save elsewhere; i went to get a new laptop.

so meet toshi. not tt you can meet him now coz i'm using him to write this entry. but yeah. toshiba satellite. expensive, but it's got a 14 inch screen, 512 mb of ram, 100 fucking gb of hard drive space (YES!) and an in-built cd AND dvd burner, and it works 10 x faster than tt fucking excuse of a hp laptop.

so i'm doing ok. once i install ms office i can start work on my papers again (once i get over the inertia of course). and before tt, i'm rebuilding my itunes library and salvaging whatever little pictures i can.

just to vent the leftover negative energy about the whole fiasco, i was a little over-zealous with the totem punching bag tonight. it felt really really good when i was whacking the shit out of the sandbag, but as a result i'm suffering from badly scraped knuckles now. hurts when i wash my hands. yeesh. on the upside, i am going to watch 50 cent in concert this sat. now THAT is something to look forward to.

but truth be told, i'm still plagued by bouts of aloneness. even when i hang out with people and we have dinner or we eat ice-cream and pop corn and talk cock over silly jim carey movies (like tonight after the snow affair), i come back to my room and i sink into aloneness again. i know tt i talk about how much i miss... not singapore, but my girls... and yih and src and all the stuff tt we'd do together and the rowing and racing and the feeling... and i mean every single thing tt i say.

he says tt my problem is tt i'm too choosy about my friends. i don't accept whoever i hang out with. he says tt i should just chill out and go with the flow. stop being so idealistic. stop looking only for people tt i can click with, who can understand me, whom i can talk to. tt i have to lower my expectations.

i never thought about it tt way. am i too choosy about friends? too selective? i know tt i am... but i always believed in choosing my friends. i don't want to just accept anyone because it means tt you're allowing everyone into your heart, including people who don't deserve it, or people whom you don't mean enough to, or people who can hurt you. or should i just stop thinking too much?

i know tt i instinctively don't let anyone into my life. but when i do let them in, i let them in completely. and then they hurt me. somehow. it seems tt my sage and advisor is the one who has succeeded in hurting me again and again and the most of all.

maybe my friends (whom i am confiding in) are right. and maybe a break up should be just tt.

i feel loved. kind of. this entire weekend i've been laptopless, but i've not been as disconnected, thanks to people like adrian, anne and diana, who have lent me the use of their laptops to blog, check my email and to even watch stuff.

i watched 3 episodes of nip/tuck back to back on anne's laptop last night after dinner.

following which i still watched 'bewitched' (which is a REALLY BAD MOVIE) with my floormates in alesha/alanna's room.

and the thing about vancouver is tt the food here is SO GOOD. therefore if you put singaporeans and singaporeans together (especially singaporeans who don't club), the one biggest indulgence we will have will be in food.

which is why this whole weekend has been feasting and feasting for me.

i suppose in some way, food is still my escape.

the anger has died for me, unfortunately. i'm just haunted by the demons of the past and of what could have been. yes the break up is amicable, but i've realised now tt there is no going back for me. i know tt no matter what happens, i won't go back to him. and i think tt he knew tt from the start now.

yet it seems i'm the one who still needs to call him, needs to hear his voice. and i know tt the distance from the past month is there and insurmountable at this point in time.

for some reason, even though i have friends and we do hang out and go out and eat and stuff, i feel alone. very very alone. in my room it's all quiet and disconnected, and although i try to focus my attention on my books i just cannot concentrate.

there's this great emptiness tt plagues me. i crave affection, even if it's of the superficial nature, because i just want to pretend for a while tt the loss isn't there. tt a part of something in my life isn't missing.

i'm tired of pretending to be happy and fine all the fucking time. i'm not fine. i'm not happy. i don't feel fucking whole.

i'm trying to return to normalcy again. but sometimes it's hard to be focused when i keep lapsing back into these phases of frustrating emptiness. fuck.

i need to really really let go. i guess the amicable break up isn't helping me because it's giving me an excuse to hold on and prolong my own pain, esp since it seems like you've long since gotten over me.

on to happier stuff.

death by chocolate.



the dish.



me and charlene.



me, sulynn and charlene (doing this 'piggy' pose thing. tt only charlene does best. heh.)



and all of us.

.
.
.

and i am getting addicted. fuck. i knew this would happen. ARGH.

P.S. eileen, if you're reading this, i want to go clubbing soon... let me know when you're up to it. i feel severely deprived.

i gotta shake you off.

this is the river regatta weekend. i wonder how the girls are doing. i hope you girls achieve everything tt you set out to. JIA YOU. :)

as for me, my days without a laptop are straggling, at best. it seems tt i have been consumed by sleep. i thought tt without a laptop i would be more inclined to study. but instead i sleep so much more. it's not a good thing.

and food seems to have become a second love again. me and the usual gang, all we seem to do is INDULGE. on thursday we attended the american thanksgiving dinner at the international house, and we had roast turkey, squash, mashed potato, carrots, and dessert was pumpkim pie. and boy was it heavy. and then on friday we had dinner at the congee house, which consisted of an amazing (ly oily) roast duck, good fishball and meat ball congee for me, and yee mee to share. and dessert was at death by chocolate. we shared the signature dish, which is a thick chocolate cake served with chocolate mousse, chocolate ice cream and a huge white chocolate tower; chocolate fondue with fresh fruits and 3 scoops of ice-cream, a chocolate ice-cream covered in thick merange (tt whipped egg white thing), and a hi-five chocolate cake. and i still had a milkshake to go with tt. and today, we had dim sum for breakfast. between the 6 of us we devoured 24 plates (according to charlene) worth of dim sum.

yup. talk about food therapy. things are looking up now.

but YEAH. i really should do something about the studying (or lack thereof).

goodbye from diana's (this time) computer.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

guess what? my HP laptop died on me.

fuck HP to high blue bloody heaven!!!

never ever get a HP laptop! it sucks to the CORE.

now i don't know if i can get the damn thing repaired because i don't have an international warranty and i don't know where the FUCK to go.

and i'm not even going to whine about all my FILES tt i have lost. my PICTURES. my DRAGONBOAT pictures. my MUSIC - all 4 gb of it. and my UNSAVED WORK for my 2 30 page papers!!!

*tears hair out in absolute fury*

and i NEED the goddamn laptop coz it's my only connection to him and to everyone else right now... i feel so alone without it otherwise...

fuck you HP! FUCK YOU!!!

dying 4 times last sem not enough (esp JUST before my exams) you have to DIE on me NOW?!?!?!?!

ARGH!!!

sigh.

anyway thanks to adrian who let me use his laptop to check my email, reply my email and um. rant and rave.

ugh.

BTW. there was a period of non-fog today so i finally went for my first run in 3 weeks. it was really really cold though - 5 degrees celcius. i wasn't wearing warm enough, which made it worse. and i started out too fast; within 5 min my lungs were BURNING with every breath i took because the air was too cold and my lungs weren't warming them enough...

but it was a good run nonetheless. i felt free. and i loved the mist of my breath in front of my face. all the songs tt i hear are the songs tt reminded me of him... but when i turned the corner at w 16th avenue jason wade was on the line: "...everything will be all right..."

and i saw the sun...

cheesy i know. but at tt moment you just know, tt everything will be ok.

somehow.

now.

about my fucking laptop... or lack thereof...

in pure dramatic hardy-ian fashion, it should be raining. although it isn't, the weather suits the grey gloomy atmosphere of hardy-ian novels nonetheless; it's cold and foggy and all we lack is the giant stone statue of a fallen angel such tt we can fall to our knees and weep.

my imagination is being far too active again, and i apologise. i feel like everything is harkening back to jude the obscure and the scene where sue rejects jude the final time for the other guy, bad sex and self-flagellation, even though she really loves jude.

but heaven forbid, i want to be neither sue nor jude. both sad, depressed and depressing, not to mention severely psychologically fucked-up characters.

but tt being said, there is a degree of psychological fucked-upness within each and everyone of us.

i was complaining to someone about why i couldn't just be a complete rational and let go the way i know i should. it's like what my mom says: "if you know how to pick it up, you should know how to put it down." referred to everything from inanimate objects to the more intangible stuff.

the answer i got: maybe coz tt's what makes us human.

yeah. sometime i wish my name was angie the android and i didn't have the 'feeling' areas in my brain. well, apparently if i damage some part of my temporal lobes i'll become completely unself-aware like those grade a societal jerks. i won't be a very fun companion to be around coz i would probably be a complete pain in the ass, but at least i would be blissfully ignorant.

life isn't the stuff of fairy tales. you know, tt's what so many of my friends have been saying to me. tt's what *he* has fucking been saying to me.

the "poor guy meets rich upper-class girl" type fairy tale. the pauper and the princess. stuff like tt (this is probably the only time you will see the word 'princess' on my blog again. i have a thing against girls who call themselves princesses coz it stimulates my gag reflex).

except tt according to yuwei: "love doesnt conquer all. it only does in fairytales involving overtly fair princesses, perverted dwarves, princes with foot fetishes, and deformed step-siblings." (i love this line. it's so hilarious. it gives me this image in my head of some dark porno fairy land where the "se7en rule" [ask me about it if i haven't told you about my theory yet] reigns supreme and short but long dwarves prance along looking for pale white girls trying to escape their evil stepmothers to erm... get it on with... speaking of which, read neil gaiman's take on 'snow white' in his "stardust" and other stories book. it's so perverted tt you will never see her (or any other disney-friendly princess again).

and tt's what he said too. tt in this society, it doesn't always work out tt way.

actually yuwei, you're right. the money doesn't matter to me. the class doesn't matter to me. i did a whole period of soul-searching and i asked myself so many questions about what was important to me, and i knew tt no matter what was important to me, his money wasn't in tt equation. i'd already said so many times tt i never needed my guy to buy me dinners or movies or gifts, i didn't need to live in some 3-storey bungalow in bukit timah with 2 cars, a border collie and 3 kids (okay. i think it's 2.1 kids now). i can buy my own meals, my own movies, my own goddamned car and house and future.

but the truth is, it mattered to him. he felt tt he was the one disappointing me. he felt the expectations and the pressure, even though i never gave him any.

in the end, what the fuck could i do? what the fuck can i possibly fucking do if you won't fucking do anything yourself? if you fucking stay away, if you fucking distance yourself from me and tell me tt you don't want to talk to me because you feel frustrated coz i have money to do whatever i want and you don't? because you don't fucking feel good enough for me even though i've told you a million and one times to screw the money coz i don't give a flying fuck about tt?

oh yeah. i'm past the depression stage now. not exactly past; in my normal manic-depressive fashion i'll probably have extreme mood swings ranging from completely crashed out when it gets cold and lonely at night to supremely boiling mad wanna-take-a-parang-and-chase-after-you-with-it when i wake up in the morning after a whole night of troubled dreams wondering what the fuck is wrong with the both of us. i can foresee this going on for a while.

sigh.

but yes. right now i am angry. i think tt if i weren't 16, 000 miles away and i really would go after you brandishing a frying pan. i wonder how i would be if i ever get issued a handgun. a future relationship with gun wars included does not bode well.

but i know i have every right to be angry. it's only *now* tt you are talking to me again. saying to me tt now tt the expectations and pressure is off, you can talk to me freely. you can tell me tt i'll have a bright and successful future ahead, tt i am free to go do whatever i want now. tt you can finally tell me tt you love me without feeling the pressure.

ok. amicable break-ups are good. but someone please explain this to me now? i haven't the slightest fucking idea what to make of this. i have an inkling of how to psycho-analyse this and i know i'll probably get it down if i do, but i don't even want to delve into this labyrinth of fucked-up feelings so i would appreciate it if someone can tell me what on earth he is thinking.

and i thought tt women were supposed to be the complicated creatures.

ugh. yes. so moving on.

yes. i have to do stuff. i don't know what yet though. dammit.

- seether feat. amy lee

I wanted you to know
That I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph
And I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here...
Anymore

The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You're gone away
You don't feel me here...

Anymore.

just because i don't wish to talk about me and the boy, or whatever the past we had on this blog anymore, i'll just talk about um... singapore events.

vancouver hasn't been tt exciting, much. the fog still exists, so running is a visible impossibility. i've skipped class all week again to catch up on the work i've missed last week. yeah, diana's feeling the guilt too. says tt we're being bad students. i beg to differ. i just say tt we're *exchange* students. we're entitled. it's a 1 year holiday after all.

jane forwarded me this link, and i found out tt we had had a sexpo in singapore most recently. i guess after the government's central planning history of romancing singapore and making singapore a 'fun city', the sexpo shouldn't be any surprise. yeah, i suppose they're trying to dispel the general image tt singapore is staid and stuffy and conservative (which it is. and i'll go one more step and say tt we have a whole lot of self-righteous moralistic pricks in our society too. not tt other societies don't, but singapore seems to have a lot more of them. must be the sexual repression, i bet.), but honestly, a sexpo?

durex did its annual global sex survey again (i think it's accessible at www.durex.com, and unlike www.playboy.com, you should be able to access it from any singapore portal. btw, i checked www.playboy.com out from here and there's nothing in there tt actually warrants a ban. i mean, it's not like no one's seen naked boobs before. you can probably google naughtier stuff and find FREE and ACCESSIBLE porn sites with a lot more stuff if you wanted to), and singapore is unsurprisingly down in the doldrums for sex. i wonder who on earth's been doing the survey though. it seems the majority of the population are sex-adverse and prissy and yeah... oral sex is still prohibited because according to our chief justice it runs contrary to the standards of asian public morality. but to be honest, from what i'm hearing the minority of the population who fuck like jackrabbits more than make up for the frigidity of the majority. i assumes tt's why the durex survey findings are so dismal - the minority are too busy fucking to go online to look at surveys. besides, if you're familiar with how to use a condom, you probably wouldn't need to go to the website and figure out what the difference between together and sensation is and you wouldn't need to wonder what to do with strawberry-flavoured.

but i digress. and yes, i know i'm being undeniably provocative today. anyway coz she said it was funny, i went to the link, and i was shown pictures of what was going on at the sexpo. we had erm... overweight exotic dancers, and really ugly women (ok. i admit i'm not a looker and i'm not hot or anything) trying too hard with teeny tiny uniforms and fishnets. apparently the sex toys and furniture section is only for those over 21. still.

oh please. by 16 you can have sex already. let's face it. the majority of the population (and i'm not talking about the 10% elite who go to the upper-middle class creme de la creme schools and can afford to get plastic surgery and don't have to worry about what gangfights and drugs are about or having to quit school to help your father out at his hawker stall) have probably done it before 16. or 18. i mean, unless you're a fundementalist christian or catholic (but then again i know more than enough of both who have done it anyway, so we can stuff the hypocrisy and moral double-standards). army boys who've gone through NS will probably have lost it by then. everyone knows tt most of the bo taks at zouk on wed night have only one thing in mind, and judging from the way they dance, it's NOT to boogie with the music. even our fave singapore nudist blogger sarongpartygirl (yes. i do read her blog sometimes because i think she has interesting viewpoints) is only 19 years old. does tt mean tt she can't enter this part of the exhibition either even though she's probably got and used most of the stuff displayed there? so why the fuck is there this "over 21" criterion for the interesting part of the exhibition? i mean, the only people i would imagine would be in there are the usual dirty old men who walk into chinatown cinemas with their big black umbrellas and chunky slippers.

and apparently the general section involves talks on um... healthy sex and protection. and the official stand of the sexpo is NOT to promote bestiality, homosexuality and um... PROMISCUITY. just like every other government-engineered plan to make singapore a more lively place, this one has been nicely socially-engineered to the extent tt any moron will know tt it's going to fail. you're not going to get more babies from a heavily-regulated sexpo. you're definitely not going to get more sex. the ones who go for this and who believe in this obviously don't know very much about sex, just as those pesky pro-life anti-abortion double-standards moralistic bastards wouldn't know tt sex actually involves penetration *gasp! OMG it is a SIN and we are all going to burrrrrn in hell!*. coz the ones who know enough about sex probably wouldn't even need to go for this anyway.

one thing about canada is tt sex is an open thing here. sure, there might be a certain about of sleaze sometimes, but even at the risk of getting bombarded with the accusations of societal moral decay and decline and all tt jazz from conservative pricks, i think it's actually a good thing. meaning, you get a choice. you get sex shops tt don't just cater to prostitutes, even though they do sell porn vids, handcuffs and sailor moon uniforms for the fetish people. you get strip clubs and you get "adult" services in the classified. but you get an outlet. singapore has an outlet too, although it's heavily regulated. but for all the conversative right's arguments tt sex is immoral and a one-way ticket to burn in hell, you can't eradicate it. it's still one of the basic human needs along with food, water and shelter, and just as how prostitution is available because the alternative would be a rise in rape cases, sex is an outlet for people.

otherwise, you get a society of largely sexually-repressed people, who also happen to be narrow-minded, moralistic, and tend to complain far too fucking much for their own good. well, i won't argue for cause and effect here, but i definitely see a co-relation somewhere.

just when i think i miss singapore, they pull another embarassing stunt. GOD.

SO FAR AWAY
- by Staind

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’d never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

(chorus)

i have to stop re-reading the last 2 emails, stop reading the history of emails tt you sent. i have to stop thinking, stop reminiscing and replaying all those times when we were happy, really really happy. i have to stop recalling the first time we met and how much you made me laugh, stop thinking about all the smses tt we'd send each other and how they would bring me these big wide stupid grins on the bus, or the time when i got pissed drunk and i'd sms you silly things all night and ramble nonsense. the times when you'd borrow the company car to drive me to training at 7am in the morning after your tour ended, or when you drove me to the airport so tt i wouldn't miss my flight to bangkok. the times when you'd walk me home without fail every single night we went out. the times at tcc when you would order my warm lava chocolate cake without fail because it was the dessert tt i ate when i met you and you were paying homage to tcc for bringing us together. ice cold beer where you'd introduced me to all your friends and i'd watch you play pool and down hoegaardens by the pint. thumpers where we'd dance together to nina sky's 'move your body' for your 'cardio workouts'. the numerous walk arounds novena and united square. and your office where we'd watch vcds on sunday coz no one else would be around except your closer colleagues (and they didn't have a problem with you watching movies on your comp or blasting your music because you cleared your files faster than they would complain). getting to know some of your colleagues better and getting teased by them about you. the late night phone calls tt would go on for hours, discounting all the other phone calls tt i'd make at any other time of the day just coz you would be in office. the time when we went to the pasir ris chalet, or when i had nowhere to go on sat night and you stayed with me the entire time. the night 2 days before i left, when you drove me to sentosa and we watched the waves lap at the shore on tanjong beach under the stars. the many many many conversations tt we'd have over the phone or in person, about life or about each other and our histories or our taste in music and even about our future. what we would do, all the things tt you would teach me, how you promised tt you would look out for me, how i told you tt you could scold me or lecture me or publicly humiliate me no matter what my rank as long as i fucked up, how we'd want to raise our kids and where and when, how we'd organise a household and how you would cook and i would clean and how we'd get separate tvs so tt you could play xbox and watch epl in peace and i wouldn't have to throw the remote at you all the time. our values and our philosophies in life. how we seemed to agree on everything without realising it and wondering why. breathe's 'hands to heaven' and the wonders 'all my only dreams'. lifehouse's 'everything' and stereophonics' 'dakota'. acdc and nirvana. issues like our views on politics and our heated debates about policies and world issues. religion. class. people. belief. and it came down to belief. you asked me tt as long as i believed tt it would work, it would work. you said tt you believed. you asked me to, too. and then we were both wrong and the distance did kill us. you stopped believing. you lost your faith in us, and i know it was largely my fault. and it is. i hate you for not trying hard enough, for not giving us another chance, for giving up losing faith. i hate you for everything tt could have been, because i know tt you still love me. and all i have to hold on to are memories, and i know tt i must let go, but they keep replaying in my head like a video tape on continuous playback.

INTJ -The Mastermind You scored 9% I to E, 18% N to S, 66% F to T, and 31% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to have a plan rather than leaving things to chance. Your type is best described by the word "mastermind", which belongs to the larger group called rationals. Only 1% of the population shares your type. You are very strong willed and self-confident. You can hardly rest until you have things settled. You will only adopt ideas and rules if they make sense. You are a great brainstormer and often come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. You are open to new concepts, and often actively seek them out. As a romantic partner, you can be both fascinating yet demanding. You are not apt to express your emotions, leaving your partner wondering where they are with you. You strongly dislike repeating yourself or listening to the disorganized process of sorting through emotional conflicts. You see your own commitments as self-evident and don't see why you need to repeat something already expressed. You have the most difficulty in admitting your vulnerabilities. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires the quality of your innovations and when they listen respectfully to your ideas and advice. You need plenty of quiet to explore your interests to the depth that gives you satisfaction. Your group summary: rationals (NT) Your type summary: INTJ

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 11% on I to E You scored higher than 16% on N to S You scored higher than 74% on F to T You scored higher than 19% on J to P

Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The Exotic Lover 45% partner focus, 42% aggressiveness, 80% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that: You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather be pursued than do the pursuing and, when it comes to physical love, you concentrate more on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about your performance. This places you in the Lover Style of: The Exotic Lover. The Exotic Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and conjures images of the exotic, romantic hero out of a romance novel, or perhaps a slightly dangerous and deadly sexy femme fatale from a noir mystery. The Exotic Lover loves pleasure and is a treasure to date, though it can be difficult to do so because they sometimes tend to be mysterious and reluctant to commit. In terms of physical love, the Exotic Lover can be quite surprising, as they are often more exciting and adventurous than predicted. Given a little freedom, and the right lover, the Exotic Lover can be a delight in bed. Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Liberated Lover (most of all) or the Devoted Lover, or the Romantic Lover. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following: Nerds, Geeks & Dorks Professional Wrestling Buffy the Vampire Slayer America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 18% on partner focus You scored higher than 28% on aggressiveness You scored higher than 89% on adventurousness

Link: The Lover Style Profile Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Hot Tamale You have an intellectual sexiness factor of 66!

You're hot! You've read a lot. You've done a lot, and there's a lot you'd like to try in the future. You've got a sharp, sexy mind, and few inhibitions to restrain you from exploring all the pleasure you can get. You have few hang-ups, and there's not much you don't know about sex. You're open-minded and able to enjoy things that would make a lesser person squeamish. You're an exceptional treat as a lover, appreciated greatly by those who know the differnce. You were probably bored with a few of the people you've been with in your past, feeling like you had to drag them along with you in the sexual adventures you want to have, and probably dumping them for the same reason. It takes a lot to stimulate you; you realize it's not just about bumping uglies. In the end there's gotta be a lot more to it. Still, there is always room for improvement. Before you can graduate into a true sexual genius, there are a few things you've got to learn, to explore, to think through, talk through, and fuck through. A good place to start is in taking a look at the few things you're still a little hesitant to try. Break down you're last few barriers and discover the outer sexual frontiers, and you'll become a master.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 25% on sexiness

Link: The Intellectual Sexiness Test written by dr_eros on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Sociopath You are 57% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Sociopath! As a result of your cold, calculating rationality, your introversion (and ability to keep quiet), your brutality, and your arrogance, you would make a very cunning serial killer. You care very little for the feelings of others, possibly because you are not a very emotional person. You are also very calculating and intelligent, making you a perfect criminal mastermind. Also, you are a very arrogant person, tending to see yourself as better than others, providing you a strong ability to perceive others as weak little animals, thus making it easier to kill them. In short, your personality defect is the fact that you could easily be a sociopath, because you are calculating, unemotional, brutal, and arrogant. Please don't kill me for writing mean things about you! To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Hippie. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Spiteful Loner, the Smartass, and the Capitalist Pig. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on Rationality You scored higher than 44% on Extroversion You scored higher than 84% on Brutality You scored higher than 64% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

we broke up.

i HATE the fucking vancouver weather.

i hate it hate it hate it.

so maybe montreal and toronto were cold cold cold... but at least they were SUNNY for the most part. well, except for tt one day in toronto where it was raining, but otherwise it was SUNNY.

vancouver is either rainy rainy rainy or... FOGGY.

and i'm talking cannot-see-more-than-2-metres-ahead-of-you foggy.

like, what the fuck.

my walk back to totem with my bags last night was hell coz i could barely see where i was going coz it was dark AND foggy.

and it's been foggy all of today too.

no rain, granted, but is it any fucking better?

the sky is still fucking dark and grey. i cannot go and run because with such poor visibility, i can't look out for oncoming vehicles, i cannot tell what lies ahead of me more than a maximum of a 5 metre distance, and i sure as hell won't know if i'm going to crash into a tree without realising it.

FUCK.

i hate the fog. i hate it hate it hate it. and it seems it's going to go on for the next few DAYS.

till it rains again. goddamn bloody weather.

but yeah, apologise for the language. as you can see, i'm not in the best of moods. work-wise it's fine. i'm getting back to doing stuff, even if i am S-L-O-W slow. blame it on the snow-induced holiday mood. after my trip to montreal and toronto and seeing snow, i'm in the mood for the post-exam christmas break. yeah. post-exams skipping the exams and my papers. argh. fuck.

but yeah... can you tell what's bothering me? i guess to the few people (and it really is a few) i emailed, you know... yes, i am upset. yes, i am saddened. yes, i am undeniably very very frustrated. and right now, yes. i am really pissed off with him. at this point in time if i weren't 16, 000 miles away and i had a huge iron wok in my hands, i would whack him over the head with it. i swear.

and then break down and cry.

something along those lines in tt order.

fuck. i hate relationships. at least the ones involving matter of the heart. i swear those just mess with your fucking head. goddamit. i think my ideal relationship right now is a no-strings-attached physical relationship. all the fun without getting my head in a spin. i can't afford tt now anyway. i need to work on my exams.

and jane... things don't seem to be going the way i'm planning. he's calling me to chat. i don't know why the hell for.

but yeah. anyway... in the midst of all the gloom and doom... dinner was a fun experience. had the daily communal style dinner with the totem singaporeans at the caf and talk cock conversation over a battered chicken burger, curly fries and a root beer float (for me). somehow charlene steered the conversation over to this ang moh guy who'd been touching himself (i.e. putting his hand into his pants) in the elevator when she'd got on... and then Weiquan and Adrian mentioned tt for their group project meeting today, all they did was watch 1 hour's worth of porn with their group mates on how to find the female's G-spot. Which then led to an extensive guys vs. girls debate on where the G-Spot was - the controversy being Charlene's statement tt chinese guys could never get girls off coz they came up a little too *short*, and Weiquan's defence tt it wasn't true and tt the G-spot was only 2 or 3 inches into the underside of the vagina and wasn't inaccessible. Which lead to the question over size - i.e what is 2 or 3 inches. Apparently a cocktail sausage is about 2 inches long. I begged to differ. I think it's only about an inch. And to me, anything less than the length of 3 cocktail sausages is just sad. But I differ. I think tt lead to the discussion of what kind of sausages were delicious, with Charlene volunteering the Bizad canteen's famous cheese sausages with cheese tt spurted out with every bite.

And yes, no one at the table could keep a straight face or stop coughing.

Yeah. We're thinking sausages alright. But just not the ones you're actually describing.

After dinner, it was back to my room and to the expanse of whatever... I got the email tt I didn't expect to receive after 3 days of non-reply, and it made me feel better and worse all at the same time. I really do hate this. So I spent sometime just thinking... Just putting back my papers and thinking... About what course I should take, what I should do, what I should tell myself to think to get myself out of this rut and back to equilibrium...

And then my screensaver came on, and coz I set it to my dragonboat photos...

This came on.



Mona... the fastest (and most hiong) runner among all of us... but the absolute SLOWEST when it comes to bathing at Kallang... coz she takes FOREVER to wax her beautiful hair...

Damn vain... But no one would know this point if they didn't step into the Kallang changing room (which is not a common occurence coz most people would probably have LEFT by the time she came out to do her hair)... HEH... One of the things I miss so much about Mona...

Along with this unglam picture (hey, it came out second! I was just choking on my water when I saw it)...



I think she was trying to say something... like maybe "Don't take my picture lahhhhhhh!"... Except tt tt didn't come out. But admittedly the middle finger thing doesn't bode too well, no?

And this photo, from Vic's collection. I never knew tt it could be seen this way...



HEH. Yeah. Freedom = chilli, coffee, ice-cream, coconut milk, curry, char kway teow, you tiao, sambal kangkong and stingray, chendol, prata, hokkien mee, chye tao kuey.... OOOOOOOOH...

And lastly.



These photos put a huge smile on my face.

One of those beams of light when I'm lost and groping my way in the darkness.

i love you so much tt i hate you now.

Ah yes. Home sweet UBC. :) Never thought I would miss caf food till I spooned this morning's breakfast of broccoli tomato and cheese egg omelette casserole into my mouth, along with bacon, cheese bagel and hot chocolate. HEH. Not tt I had any lack of good food in Montreal and Toronto thus far. I was *very* well taken care of, so thanks to my really really gracious hosts: Amy, Sandra and Vanessa, for putting me up, bringing me around and making me feel really at home. :) I really do appreciate it.

Anyway yes, here's my usual nice, detailed and very long-winded recap of how my 9 days away from Vancity have been.

MONTREAL:

11 Nov - Day 1:

I had to take the bus out at 6.22am in order to catch my 8.45am flight from the airport with time to spare. And change 3 buses, btw. But tt wasn't too bad. I got introduced to how GOOD a simple toasted blueberry bagel with butter can be. YUM.

And my flight from Vancouver to Montreal took approximately 4 hours and 47 minutes. Imagine tt, it's almost the distance from Singapore to Tokyo, and I'm still in the same damn country! Haha. But Vancouver is 3 hours behind Montreal, so it was about 4.30pm when I landed in Montreal. Oh, and the sky was darkening already.

Amy came to pick me up from the airport! She was with her brother, her friend Angie from Eusoff who had come to stay over too... and they drove me back to her apartment in downtown Montreal (opposite McGill University), where Amy cooked dinner. My first home-cooked meal since I left Singapore. HEH. :)

After tt, we trawled the underground city of Montreal, which is basically a long line of interconnected underground malls tt run with the Metro (the Montreal underground train). Well, one mall is like another to me, but considering tt it was really cold at night, I was grateful to be able to duck underground if it got too bad. And later, we joined a few of Amy's friends from high school at this beer pub at St. Laurent, the clubbing and pubbing district of Montreal (one of them... I can't remember what the other was called), and we tried to um... club at this place called Jupiter Room tt played retro hip-hop songs (which was really strange. Coz who dances to Run DMC and Cypress Hill and guys from that era?)... it wasn't really to much of our palettes. So we ended the night doing what we do best all over the world, be it in Singapore or Canada - eat.

I had a taco at Taco Bull, and we went over the the Quebec fast food chain La Belle Province (according to Amy, it refers to Quebec as 'the beautiful province') to pig out on poutine, the authentic (apparently) Quebecan/Canadian national dish. Well, one of them at least.

12 Nov - Day 2:

We started the morning by going out for a really yummy dim sum breakfast with Amy's family - her brother and parents. My first dim sum meal in a long long time since I came here. We walked down to Chinatown to eat breakfast. And so, while I'm on the subject of Chinatown, just wanted to introduce it to you a bit.

This is Montreal's Chinatown.



It's a lot smaller than Chinatown in Toronto - which is sprawling - and Vancouver (the original one, even though the 'real' Chinatown has been relocated to Richmond since East Hastings has become the drug area on its doorstep), but it's interesting because...



It has signs in both Chinese AND *FRENCH*.

And the Holiday Inn in Chinatown has actually assimilated into the whole Chinese tradition too. Which is kinda funny.



The dim sum breakfast was really good, btw. And it was really kind of Amy's parents to buy me breakfast. :) And after tt, while walking back from Chinatown to Amy's place, we passed the annual Santa Claus/Christmas Parade on St. Catherine's (it's the main road in downton Montreal - the equivalent of our Orchard Road according to Amy) Road.



These policemen on horses (I think they're the Royal County Mountie Police) kick-started the parade. WOW. Imagine horses in Singapore. Wahaha.



And then there were the marching bands, the really badly-made up/bewildered looking elves, the floats and the cheerleaders, etc...

But yeah. We didn't stay for the whole parade coz it took quite a while. So it was back to Amy's apartment so tt she could get the car and drive us around Montreal. So we saw QUITE A BIT of Montreal on Sat.



Generally, in Montreal you see a lot of really beautiful Catholic churchs and cathedrals, given its history and tradition as a French (Canadian) province.





But we also got to see the Olympic Stadium and the Biodome outside of downtown (and this unknown sphere tt I cannot remember what it is supposed to be called)...





...As well as this bridge (which is supposed to be a land mark but I can't remember the name coz, along with all the other road names, land mark names and food on the menus all over the city, it's in FRENCH)...



...And this interesting looking architecture, which according to Amy is so expensive to live in coz 1 unit can cost around CAD $1 million!



BTW, speaking of French names, guess what 'KFC' (Kentucky Fried Chicken) is known as in Montreal?

.
.
.

"PFK".

Poulet Frit ala Kentucky.

HEH.

We also visited the famous Oratory, which is this gigantic church...



...That looks like this from the outside (okay. I didn't take a full photo of it in all its magnificent glory).



And this from the inside.



We also drove up to Mount Royal to take photos of the view.

So this is the City of Montreal (one side of it) as seen from Mount Royal.



And finally - people pics!

Amy.



Angie.



After visiting Mount Royal, we drove to St. Denis - which is the French area of Montreal to get really good bagels. YUM. Ate my bagel plain, but it was really fresh-baked and yummy. We had Montreal's famous Schwartz smoked meat sandwiches for dinner too. If I'm not wrong, this eatery was featured on Food Network as being world-famous, and it showed in the queue tt snaked right out the door. I think we queued for between half and hour and 45 minutes, which is just... woah. But the smoked meat sandwiches were a must try, even if they were SO heavy, especially after my having eaten 2 bagels prior to tt.

We then caught the landmark Toronto Maple Leafs - Montreal Canadiens NHL Hockey Match at a bar downtown, which was gripping coz ice hockey is an incredibly fast-paced game. It was a really close match, but the Leafs won by a goal in the end. A lot of Montreal-natives were pretty pissed with the result, especially as this game had been playing live in the Bell Centre in Montreal just as we were watching it. Ooh. And they actually have breaks DURING the game to accomodate for commercial breaks. That's just strange. I'm too used to the EPL tradition of no breaks till the end of every half.

After this, it was dessert at Reuben's - 1 chocolate cheesecake, 1 white chocolate highrise, and 1 caramel cheesecake. But my white chocolate highrise was seriously sweet. It was a real struggle just to finish.

Was supposed to club on Sat night, but in the end Angie was really tired so we went back to the apartment first. And coz it was really really cold out, I didn't really fancy walking out either, so Amy and I just sat up chatting in her living room/kitchen till around 2am.

13 Nov - Day 3:

Amy had dance classes today, so I went out to explore Montreal on my own. Went out firstly to see Old Montreal, which is the historic part of the city.



This is one of the streets of Old Montreal. It's pretty touristy, but it's just so quaint and has so much old-world charm. For some reason I'm reminded of streets in France or London with the cobblestones and the charming little shops selling their wares. In this case, I bought some chocolates from this chocolatier known as Maple Delight.



And this is how other parts of Old Montreal (or the region around) look like. Very historical looking/Victorian architecture. Reminds me of the Supreme Court in Singapore and its Victorian architecture too (before the damned space ship extension).



I also walked down to the port to just look around the waterfront.



And after tt I decided to walk up St. Denis to just see how the French street would look. I walked pretty far. Love the eateries and French restaurants and bakeries and coffee joints all over. And I swear, I attract Tim Horton's. EVERYWHERE I go I will se a Tim Horton's.

And buy something from there too.

I moved from Amy's place to Sandra's place after tt. Had dinner with Sandra and 2 other people at this place on St. Denis called L'academic. The people there were really snooty though. Coz we didn't speak French, they were arrogant bastards. A waitress told me I had to wait for an English menu coz all they had on hand were French menus, and the waiter serving us took forever to come to our table even though he seemed to have no problems weaving through the other 2 tables in front of and behind our table.

But tt said, the food was really good and the price reasonable for the kind of ambience and quality tt we were paying for. We even shared dessert of strawberry cheesecake, chocolate mousse and some kind of custard pastry tt reminded me slightly of apple strudel.

After tt, we adjorned to a pub to chill out over drinks, and Sandra, I and a friend of hers actually went clubbing at St. Laurent for a while. On a Sunday night! But yeah... the dancefloor was understandably empty.

14 Nov - Day 4:

Sandra gave me a tour of McGill as she was walking over to school.





The campus is smaller than UBC's coz it's downtown, but oh man... it's so beautiful! And the architecture... OH GOSH. And Law Library there is so nice and new, unlike the really old Law Library here in UBC (I miss the really new, really posh Law Lib back in NUS, to be honest)... And the lifts in the 5-storey library had black tiling for its walls and black and white checked tiling for its floors... I swear stepping into the lift was like stepping into a club...

I wonder if the image of lawyers as workaholics by day and party animals by night is being perpetuated all over the world. HMM.

Oh yar. So I took a spastic shot. Pretending to study in the McGill Law Lib.



Wahaha what a cheater.

Oh, anyway lunch was at the Graduate House next to Law Fac. It was like stepping into some old British university (but with renovated walls and stuff). Really nice, just like the movies. I had a hamburger steak with peas, mashed potatos, and salad, all for just $6.95, which is pretty reasonable IMHO.

And after leaving Sandra, I went back to Old Montreal to find the Basilica, which is the replica of the cathedral in Notre Dame.

And it is so gorgeous. Once you've seen its outside and inside (which is utterly breath-taking), no other church - even with all its self-same Victorian architecture and stained glass panels - can rival its beauty.



From the outside.



From the inside (it is HUGE).



Close up of the altar.



And the Sacred Heart Chapel.

Oh, and opposite the Basilica is also this war memorial.



So anyway, after finding one big Montreal attraction, I decided to find another. The Village.

More specifically, the Gay Village.



With its pretty rainbow-coloured flags.



These flags adorn everything from gay bars and clubs to coffee joints, shopping outlets and drugstores, and even the Metro station at this end of St. Catherine's had rainbow-coloured bars above its entrance and exit. It was normal for guys to walk down the street holding hands, and there wasn't anything dirty or sinful or any of tt here.



I found this bar particularly striking. Just like an anomaly, it stands out from the normal buildings with its gaudy designs... only in The Village.



And I love this fresco. I don't know what it means coz I can't read French, but I know tt the ribbon stands for the fight against Aids, and I love how homosexuality has been incorporated into the picture in a visually-appealing way.

There were also lots of graffiti artwork on the building walls depicting anime/slash characters, mainly guys. But there was one of a girl (I think it's Psylocke from the Xmen) tt I particularly liked.



And after the Gay Village, I walked back through St. Laurent, the clubbing district, and took some detours back through St. Denis, just because.

Dinner was pizza. I decided to buy Sandra, Amy and Angie all dinner to thank them all for taking care of me while I was here. We went to McGill Pizza on Amy's suggestion, and the greasy pizzas were really good. We ordered the mushroom/cheese and the university - peppers, peperonni, cheese and bacon bits.

So tt's the four of us at dinner.



And then we had the five-layer chocolate cake at Nickels, which is the diner owned by Celine Dion. Reminded me of Billy Bombers, just cheaper... Well, the cake was $4.99, but it was HUGE. So yeah.

15 Nov - Day 5:

Today ends my stint in Montreal. And guess what?

IT WAS SNOWING TODAY!

I was so excited. As I was walking out and the snow was falling into my hair, on my face, on my clothes and my hands, as I could see the ground and the roads and the tops of the cars covered in a pretty fluffy sheet of white, I was getting so hyper tt Sandra was laughing at me. But oh my god... To come 16, 000 miles halfway around the world to see snow really is worth it.

I walked to the railway station to catch my train to Toronto. The walk was pleasant, albeit cold, except for the part where it wasn't snowing but hailing and I could feel ice pellets cut into my face as I walked down.

The train to Toronto took 4 and a half hours. During which I tried to make the most of my time by reading my cases, but in the end I kept falling asleep. So so much for tt. But it was snowing outside, or at least I could see snow as long as we were in the province of Quebec. But once we hit the province of Ontario, it became rain, rain and more rain.

It was raining when I arrived at Toronto. Vanessa met me at the station, which was really nice of her coz I might have gotten lost considering the labyrinth of different terminals concentrated in one puny area.

We walked down Queen's St West where the quirky shopping was to be done, and then through Spadina Avenue to see Chinatown and the Kensington Market. It was already dark by the time I'd got to Toronto coz the sun sets by 5pm, so tt plus the rain wasn't too much fun. But Kensington Market had really good cheese (YUM!) and jamaican patties! Heh. And we also walked past the University of Toronto, so I can say tt I saw tt university too!

But the wind and the rain was really really heavy. By the time we'd walked to Bloor St. West, we were soaked and we looked like drowned ducks. My down jacket was soaked and I did smell like a dead duck. UGH. We walked into this really cheap discount store called Honest Ed's, which has the most tacky signboard ever complete with the large array of blinking lights, and then we had dinner at this restaurant called Sushi on Bloor's.

It was a tiny eatery but it always seemed to have a queue; and no wonder. I saw awards on the wall for it being announced "best sushi in Toronto" by NOW! magazine for a couple years running. Interestingly, this restaurant serves Japanese food in Western sized portions (see below for what my tempura dinner set looks like... just the tempura, coz the rice, salad, green tea ice cream and miso soup has not yet been photographed)... with Chinese waiters.



And I think I totally freaked out the Chinese waiter serving us. First when I tried to order my food, he couldn't seem to understand a damn word I was saying. Van had to order for me before he understood her. That was just bizarre. And after tt, when I got up to go the the washroom, I almost walked right into the kitchen. The look in his eyes as he redirected me was of sheer horror. I must be a nightmare customer. Wahaha.

Oh yes, how can I forget?

Van.



And me. :) Heh.



And we couldn't finish our food coz we ordered sushi to share too. Yar, the sushi is good.

After tt, we took the train back to her place. Well, it's the subway and a bus. Takes about 45 min for her to get from her place to downtown. Sort of like from Clementi to Orchard or City Hall, or something along those lines. Train and bus. Her place is directly opposite the University of York, which is situated outside downtown Toronto. But it is SO NICE!!! I love her place! It's so so so cosy and comfy. She has her own area with her own bathroom and own kitchen. It's really like living in a studio apartment of your own, just more quaint - like a townhouse... My kinda dream place actually.



And Van made me hot chocolate from scratch with cocoa powder and cinnamon... That was so good!

16 Nov - Day 6:

Van made me breakfast, and then she showed me round Osgoode Law School and a bit of Tork University. I love campus tours. HEH. Then I took the bus and train back downtown to visit Toronto's famous CN Tower.



Located in the Toronto Banking District.



And the Toronto waterfront.



It was really windy though. I was fighting the wind all the way to get to the waterfront, so initial plans of walking down the waterfront had to be abandoned coz I didn't fancy getting blown into the ocean by mistake. HEH.

After tt, it was on to Bloor St. Met Eunice, Siyuan and Krittica (okay, I think I've spelt her name wrong) at the Museum Station, then walked to Swiss Chalet on Bloor St for lunch. We met Daryl there too, but his gf couldn't make it coz she had to mug. But tt said, it was really nice to just meet up with familiar Singaporean faces again. It's really strange how you might not be all tt chummy in school, but when you're out in the big wide world somehow the distance just bonds people of similar backgrounds together.

So yeah. The 4 of us.



Apparently Swiss Chalet is supposed to have the best roast chicken in Toronto, but I don't know coz I ordered the ribs instead. But according to the people who did try the chicken, it's "not bad" but Kenny Roger's is better. HEH. Well, they don't have a Kenny Roger's in Toronto tho.

After that, I walked over to Yorkville...



...And then to the Toronto Village. Yar, the Gay Village. How come it seems like every place has one except Vancouver (or maybe Vancouver doesn't need one coz it's the San Fran of Canada - it doesn't need one)? And no, don't even consider Singapore. Imagine rainbow-coloured flags at Bugis? Wahaha...



So yeah. The Village is at the Church-Wellesley area. I love the street signs.

And the flags.



And boy, is this blatantly obvious. HEH.



Ooh. And for those single gay men who want to expand their social circle...



HEH.

After tt, it was down Yonge Street (according to Van, it's the longest street in Canada at 2200 km spanning all of greater Toronto) to Eaton's Centre to pass the time till meeting Van for dinner.

We had dinner at this fusion Asian restaurant called Spring Rolls, which was near the bus station where she would be taking her bus to New York tonight.

She ordered mango salad, and I ordered Pad Thai. And we had the most expensive goreng pisang ever with mango ice-cream, at CAD $4.95. But oh well. What do you expect? We're not in Singapore anymore. So for friends in Singapore who love a good goreng pisang, eat as much as you can before you go overseas... It's so much more expensive here! Hahaha.



...Yar. Me and my pad thai. I know lah. My face is fat. SIGH. I haven't run in 2 weeks already.

17 Nov - Day 7:

So Van left on Wed night for New York and I would be squatting in her apartment till I was to leave. Coz I'd bought MORE donuts and bagels from Tim Horton's, I had a bagel for my breakfast. And then it was over to catch my bus to the Niagara Falls.

Yesh. I went to see the Niagara Falls today.









I don't think the photos need explanation. They can speak for themselves. The Falls are simply breathtaking.

My only gripe about the Falls is tt the area around has become too blatantly TOURISTY.

Take Clifton Hill, which was the street I had to walk down to find the Falls.



It was just rows and rows of Americanisation in manifestation, from the usual fast food eateries all packed together to the casinos to the crazy Haunted Houses/Holywood/Marvel Action Heros type rides tt they had. I found it quite horrific actually.

Hell, they even had a giant WWE Retail Store here. At Niagara Falls.



After lunch, I walked back to the bus terminal from the Falls. It was snowing again when the bus took us back to downtown Toronto. I walked around Queen's St West again and Bloor St West again and had dinner at Bloor St West, and then it was back to Van's apartment.

18 Nov - Day 8:

Friday. I didn't feel like going back into town today coz it was -1 degrees celcius, so I decided to spend my whole day vegetating at Yorkdale, which is the mall 2 train stops away from Van's stop. So I caught 2 movies (it's cheaper here than it is in Vancity anyway) - The Legend of Zorro and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oh, and no, I'm not a Harry Potter fan. It just so happened tt I could get tickets! Wahaha. So I watched Harry Potter. Oh well. Ooh. And I did some window shopping and got myself lunch and dinner at Yorkdale as well.

And it was snowing today too. I was indoors so I didn't really feel the cold, but when I got back to Van's place there was snow on the ground and the roads and the grass. It was so pretty to be stepping on white, even though at first I couldn't register the change of colour. But snow really makes the idea tt Christmas is coming very real. It's just the snow.

19 Nov - Day 9:

I left Toronto today. Almost missed my flight coz I miscalculated the amount of time it would take me to get to the airport from Van's place. I reached the bus stop opposite the airport at 2.20pm, 40 min before my plane was due to fly. And then I GOT LOST walking to the damn terminal coz the roads confused me and I walked into a limousine park and I was utterly horrified when the drivers told me I had to RETRACE MY STEPS and start over. I was like: "FUCK. I am going to FUCKING MISS MY PLANE."

But fortunately one of the limo drivers was kind enough to hitch me a ride to Terminal One, so I managed to run into the terminal at 2.30pm. The queue to check-in was fucking long and I knew I couldn't wait, so I managed to approach one of the counter staff for help. She chastised me a bit about cutting it too close, but I got my boarding pass. Then managed to get through the metal detectors with a little trouble (coz I BEEPED. Dammit.), and through to my gate 15 minutes before we were to fly.

UGH. That was almost traumatic.

The plane ride from Toronto to Vancouver was around 5 hours... a bit longer than from Vancouve to Montreal. HMM. And it's all still THE SAME COUNTRY!!! I managed to read and finish the Da Vinci Code novel tt the boy'd given to me before I left with some drama, and apart from the fact tt my left knee joint hurts when we fly, I realise tt 5/6 hour flights are survivable when you live in a big country - coz you have no choice but to get used to it!

And yes, then it was back to Vancouver, and the 3-bus ride home. Although walk back was the toughest - coz it's 20 minutes back from the bus loop with my bags and it was fucking foggy this weekend.

It still is.

But tt concludes my Montreal-Toronto trip.

Ooh. And now, I've also decided to recap by putting all the rare "people" photos tt I took (you realise I don't like taking pictures of myself much. HEH) all together. So yeah, you get to see all the people I've met up with at both places.

Below - The People Pictures:

Amy and I.



I and Angie.



And Sandra, Amy and Angie - The Montreal gang.



Vanessa (okay. I have no pictures with the both of us inside).



Krittica, Eunice, Siyuan and Daryl - The Torontian gang.



And me (YES. I *KNOW* I've put on weight. My face is fat. BLEAH).



So yep. That concludes my trip to Montreal and Toronto.

With my fave pictures:



Montreal.



Toronto.



And Niagara Falls.

:)